Book review Challenge Series – How I write a book review. Click on this link to read an in-depth description of book reviewing by Rosie Amber!
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Here is the 51st installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. If you are tempted to take a selfie (why, we don’t know) to show your friends your new tan lines, do not send the picture to anyone. If you do, at best, you may show too much line. At worst, your picture may make the internet rounds for the next million years.9. If you are with friends and a picture is being taken, do not stick out your tongue as if you are Miley Cyrus. If you do, at best, you will look as graceful as Miley Cyrus. At worst, like your mom said, “Your face may stick that way.”
8. If you are tempted to take a selfie in the bathroom, do not take the picture until you check the background. If you do, at best, there may be some stray clothes lying around. At worst, that shot of the commode may be enough to get an unexpected visit from the health department and possibly a letter from a concerned citizen about the lid being in the up position.
7. If you are tempted to take a selfie, try to make an expression that does not resemble a duck. If you don’t, at best, you will look like any one of a million selfies. At worst, your lips may be entered in the most obviously botched category at the Botox convention by a well-meaning friend and win.
6. If you are in charge of taking pictures of a friends’ get-together, do not ask everyone to say cheese. If you do, at best, you will have different group photos that look the same. At worst, you will have walking dead expressions and your outing will resemble the before shots at the orthodontist.
5. When posing for a group picture, do not put up two fingers behind the head of the person next to you. If you do, at best, you will ruin what could have been a nice picture. At worst, everyone in the photo will be able to attest that those two fingers represent the number of drinks that it takes to get you blotto.
4. If you have had too much to drink, do not show up in each picture with your red solo cup. If you do, at best, you will have a chronicle of your behavior. At worst, you will document your own downfall and will have to face the inevitable slide show every time you and your friends get together.
3. When taking pictures of the scenic wonders of America, do not take photos from a moving vehicle. If you do, at best, you might catch a tree or two in the blur. At worst, you will have lovely landscape colors that resemble finger paints to show as a result of your trip.
2. When trying to capture the romantic nature of the moonlight over the lake, do not use a cell phone camera. If you do, at best, you might get what appears to be a pin head in the night. At worst, you will have a close up view of your fingerprint that can be used as a new form of identification.
1. When taking pictures of pets, children, or anything on the ground, do not stand as tall as you are and take the shot. If you do, at best, you will get shots of little frightened beings resembling something out of The Hobbit. At worst, since you are not down at their level, your angle of attack will produce nothing but tops of the innocent little heads.
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Here’s an opportunity to assist a young and extremely talented writer as well as her publisher, a great resource for indie writers.
First I just want to quickly announce that the ARCs of Zero (synopsis here – everyone likes space pirates, right?) have been emailed out today. Thank you SO MUCH everyone who has agreed to read my little project and review it. I’m so excited to find out how it reads, if not a little nervous too. Above all, I hope you enjoy!
And, the main news for today: it’s launched, folks! Zero‘s publisher, Dagda Publishing, have today launched their Crowd Funding campaign to raise money to market the book.
And, blimey! I know I’m biased, but the perks are pretty dang awesome. By ordering any of the perks, you will not only be contributing to help a very worthy publisher spread its name and continue to create great opportunites for new writers, you will also be helping make sure that everyone who may enjoy Zero will have a…
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Here is the 50th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. When traveling by plane, do not think that you can fake being 75 or older so you won’t have to take off your shoes since you are self-conscious about foot odor. At best, the TSA agents will just roll their eyes as you stoop and shuffle over and then will patiently insist that you remove your shoes since your ID makes it clear that you are not as old as you claim. At worst, the TSA agents will decide that you must have some mental health issues and flag you as someone to be examined in the TSA office which causes you to miss your plane and totally gross out the TSA agents in the small examination room with your smelly feet.
9. When traveling by plane, do not expect that the happy, cooing baby seated behind you will remain happy and cooing once the plane takes off. At best, the parents will attend immediately to the baby whenever it starts to cry. At worst, the parents will ignore the baby, as apparently they always do, and it will be your eardrums which will suffer more from the baby’s earsplitting screams than from the change in cabin air pressure which is causing the screaming.
8. When traveling by plane, do not assume that the carry-on bag you bought online for half-price will actually fit in an overhead bin. At best, you’ll be the first to wedge your bag into the bin and can ignore the other passengers whose bags are smaller but unable to fit because your bag is so large. At worst, a big guy named Tiny will pull out your bag, drop it in your lap, and put in his own.You’ll be stuck having to check your oversized carry-on at the last minute unless you foolishly want to argue with Tiny.
7. When traveling by plane, do not think you can escape screaming babies by hiding in the lavatory. If you do, at best, you’ll only face a long line of angry passengers when you finally come out as the plane is preparing to land. At worst, the flight crew will summon an air marshal and forcefully extricate you at a most inconvenient moment.
6. When traveling by plane, do not think you can time your use of the lavatory to coincide with the smoothest part of the flight. At best, you’ll be lucky and only be slightly jostled about on the toilet as the plane hits some minor turbulence. At worst, the plane will hit an air pocket, causing the plane to drop sharply, you to accidentally open the lavatory door as you grab the handle for stability, and the flight crew to be forever marred by an image of your blue water-colored naked bottom half.
5. When traveling by plane, do not assume that the passenger behind you won’t mind if you put your seat all the way back. If you do, at best, that passenger and all the ones behind will be the doing the same thing, causing a strange but convenient domino effect. At worst, the passenger behind you will show displeasure by choosing that time to pitch forward and have a sneezing fit over your head making you wish you had brought an umbrella.
4. When traveling by plane, do not think it would be a fun idea to tease your fellow passenger’s cat while the passenger is in the lavatory. At best, the cat will only hiss and growl as it backs into the corner of the pet taxi when you stick your fingers through the grate. At worst, you’ll have a lot of explaining to do to the flight attendant and your fellow passenger when you ask for help in retrieving your hand from PsychoKitty’s clamped jaw.
3. When traveling by plane, do not think that you can imbibe several alcoholic drinks and somehow be sober when your 10-hour flight ends. At best, the flight attendant will be aware of your naiveté and water down your drinks so you can disembark without assistance. At worst, you drink yourself into a Bermuda Triangle stupor and wake up hours later in a TSA’s office, strapped to a wheelchair and not having answers to the questions being asked by Fritz the head interrogator.
2. When traveling by plane, on your return flight, do not think your fellow passengers will find it amusing if you sing along with the movie Happy Feet, which you’ve seen several times already. At best, all the passengers will choose to use headsets to tune you out. At worst, you just might be faced with a mass passenger mutiny where walking the plank takes on new meaning at thirty-five thousand feet.
1. When traveling by plane, do not pull an Alec Baldwin and insist on taking a cell phone call just when the captain requests that everyone turn off their phones and other electronic devices. At best, a flight attendant will gently but firmly take your phone away from you and refuse to return it until your plane has landed. At worst, the captain and flight crew will pay a personal visit to your seat and escort you off the plane, (after landing if you are lucky) totally ignoring your claim to be a very important person.
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A Random Act of Kindness – Guest Post by Marie Ann Bailey.
This is a guest post from me on Good People Doing Great Things, a wonderful blog focused on compassion. I’ve disabled comments here to urge you to leave your comments at the original source. Please click on the link above. I hope you enjoy it.
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I’ve got two things to say to my blogging, reading friends: (1) If you haven’t already purchased Kevin Brennan’s Yesterday Road, then you better do it now while it’s available for a mere 99 cents; (2) If you’ve read YR, then leave a review on Amazon. Short and sweet as the man says, that’s all you need to do. So step up, people! (Pretty please!)
That’s right, I’m running a summer sale on Yesterday Road, and it’s now live on Amazon. (The other retailers will follow soon.)
The sale runs through 6/27, but it doesn’t begin officially till next Friday. You, my devoted readers here at What The Hell, get first crack, so if you’ve been waiting for that perfect price point and you have a spare dollar in your virtual coin pouch, it’s time to pull the trigger.
This is also the last promotion I’ll be doing for YR before the publication of Wish I Were Here in September. After 6/27, the price returns to $4.99.
If you do take the plunge, I’d also appreciate a brief review on Amazon. I’m stuck at 24, and I’ve encountered recently at least one promotional outfit that requires 25 reviews. Short and sweet is welcome.
Finally, a big thanks to Phillip McCollum, who stepped up…
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Here is the 49th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. On the weekend, do not attempt to catch up on all the sleep you missed during the week. If you do attempt, at best, you may miss a few meals. At worst, you might just find Monday morning arriving way too soon.
9. On the weekend, do not try to complete a week’s worth of exercise in one weekend day. If you do, at best, your body will remind you to take it easy next time. At worst, you will need to call EMS to help you out of bed Monday morning.
8. On the weekend, do not try to drink all the beer and margaritas you missed during the week. If you do, at best, you will still feel bad the following Friday. At worst, you could have a monumental lost weekend and wake up naked, restrained to a gurney at the county hospital with no idea how you got there nor how long you’ve been naked.
7. On the weekend do not feel you must fill in every hour with an activity to make up for the sedentary week. If you do, at best, you just might need a vacation after the weekend is over. At worst, you may be in a position to regret not having a stress test a little sooner.
6. On the weekend, do not power shop to make up for the times you were at work during the week. If you do, at best, you may see the end of the available money before the end of the available time to shop. At worst, you ignore the end of the money warning and continue shopping until your credit card company mercifully cuts you off in the most exclusive store.
5. On the weekend, do not do a marathon of chores hoping to catch up on those you missed during the week. If you do, at best, you will run out of daylight before the work is done. At worst, you will run out of energy and be faced with the end of the weekend and the prospect of an exhausted Monday morning.
4. On the weekend, do not try to watch every show you recorded during the week. If you do, at best, you will feel you have worked all weekend just watching TV. At worst, you will show up on Monday with bloodshot eyes and pasty skin leading everyone to believe you were in solitary confinement in jail for the weekend.
3. On the weekend, do not take a little work home with you. If you do, at best, you will have to sneak around to get it done before the family finds out. At worst, your boss will find out you are working during the weekend so the little work will turn into two full days of business as usual.
2. On the weekend, if you are a writer, do not try to not write. If you do, at best, you will become increasingly grumpy until your family locks you in your writing room. At worst, you will be successful in not writing and will be crushed by the guilt of ages simply because you are now two thousand words off your target causing you to change genres from Romance to Horror Fiction.
1. On the weekend, do not forget to find time to relax and recharge. If you do forget, at best, your productivity for the next week will suffer. At worst, your nerves will probably be at the point of shatter and all will let loose when your hapless boss asks you to stay for an hour more on Monday with significantly ugly results.
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Mary picked up the soft cover book from her pillow where it had been resting since Lucy left it there. She opened the book so she could see the front and back cover, the red, black, and white colors making her eyes dance. Red was her favorite color. Black used to be the color of her hair. And it had been long and wavy, much as she imagined Helena’s hair to be. An index card floated down from the book and onto Mary’s lap. It was a note from Lucy: “Just call me Penny dammit!” Mary laughed at the inside joke. Both she and Lucy were regular readers of Helena’s blog and knew the story behind “Penny dammit.”
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A fine literary Monday morning for me it seems, as Interesting Literature has a few interesting facts about Thomas Hardy to share. Tess of the D’Ubervilles was my introduction to Hardy: A friend found a small hardcover edition and recommended it to while we browsed in a bookstore in Canada, on our way home to New York. That trip was roughly 40 years ago and I still have the book and the love for Hardy.
Thomas Hardy was born on this day, 2 June, in 1840. (Seventeen years later to the day, composer Edward Elgar would be born.) Let’s raise a glass of something (cider?) to one of the great poets and novelists of English literature.
1. Much of the common perception of Thomas Hardy is incorrect, or, at the very least, inaccurate. Many people, if asked to describe Hardy’s background, would probably paint us a picture of a rustic, poor, and self-educated man who worked his way up the social ladder to become a celebrated author. Whilst his upbringing was certainly rural rather than metropolitan, he wasn’t exactly poor: his father was a successful builder who had six men working for him. They were hardly on the breadline. Whilst it’s true that Hardy’s family lacked the funds to send him to university – instead, he left school at sixteen to train as an architect –…
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Marie at 1 Write Way 