10. If you bring a host or hostess gift, do not take it home with you even though the evening stunk.
9. If you are seated next to someone you don’t know, do not start the conversation with “so how’s your sex life going?” even if you really want to know.
8. If the host or hostess seats you next to someone clearly older or younger than you, do not ask any questions that have the word “age” in them.
7. If you are asked a question while eating and you don’t have a ready answer, do not continue to stuff mashed potatoes into your mouth even if it is the only way you can think to stall.
6. If you are asked what you would like to drink, do not say “whatever you got,” since you might end up with tap water or worse.
5. If your host or hostess tells you to make yourself at home, do not sit down on the couch and put your feet up on the coffee table.
4. If you need to use the bathroom, do not take the occasion to open any drawers, cabinets or closets even if you are dying to check out the medication and birth control being used.
3. If you are asked to choose either red or white wine, do not say both even if you normally mix the two.
2. If you see that there aren’t enough chairs for everyone at the table do not bump the oldest person to secure one for you.
1. If you find that you have somehow been over served, do not offer to fistfight the host or hostess if they ask for your keys.