The Top Ten List of Things Not To Do at a Dinner Party

Here is the seventh installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not To Do by John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com and Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday.  We hope you enjoy.
dinner party

10.  If you bring a host or hostess gift, do not take it home with you even though the evening stunk.

9.  If you are seated next to someone you don’t know, do not start the conversation with “so how’s your sex life going?” even if you really want to know.

8.  If the host or hostess seats you next to someone clearly older or younger than you, do not ask any questions that have the word “age” in them.

7.  If you are asked a question while eating and you don’t have a ready answer, do not continue to stuff mashed potatoes into your mouth even if it is the only way you can think to stall.

6.  If you are asked what you would like to drink, do not say “whatever you got,” since you might end up with tap water or worse.

5.  If your host or hostess tells you to make yourself at home, do not sit down on the couch and put your feet up on the coffee table.

4.  If you need to use the bathroom, do not take the occasion to open any drawers, cabinets or closets even if you are dying to check out the medication and birth control being used.

3.  If you are asked to choose either red or white wine, do not say both even if you normally mix the two.

2.  If you see that there aren’t enough chairs for everyone at the table do not bump the oldest person to secure one for you.

1.  If you find that you have somehow been over served, do not offer to fistfight the host or hostess if they ask for your keys.

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About 1WriteWay

Writer, blogger, knitter, and cat lover.
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19 Responses to The Top Ten List of Things Not To Do at a Dinner Party

  1. Patti Hall says:

    hahahaha again!

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  2. But #9 is the only icebreaker that I have. Dang it.

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  3. #5 gets the professor!

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  4. Nice job Marie. I had an occasion to bump an old lady off her chair (#2) quite by accident. It was really embarrassing. I was fortunate she was drunk so no bones broken.

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  5. Katie Cross says:

    I told John that I wasn’t able to find favorites on this one, and I still can’t even after visiting it on your site. But 3 is probably the funniest to me, and I don’t even drink alcohol.

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    • 1WriteWay says:

      For a moment there, I thought you meant that you didn’t like the list 🙂 Did you see in John’s comments where he actually saw someone mixing red and white wine?!

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  6. Amusing advice as always. I am really enjoying this series of posts.

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  7. I love this! Can’t believe I missed it! This is too funny!!!

    Oh, and also, Marie dear, I have nominated you for the Sisterhood of the World blogging award. http://whenibecameanauthor.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/sisterhood-of-the-world-blog-award/

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