Memorial Day, for those of us in the United States, is just around the corner. To get you into the spirit, my good friend John Howell has the following list of things not to do on Memorial Day, a list that he and I collaborated on last year. Enjoy!
Last Year Marie Ann Bailey and I did a simu-publish of what not to do on Memorial Day. I was constructing a new one for this year, and it occurred to me that last years was pretty suitable. So here is last year’s and I must say the advice seems pretty relevant. Thanks, Marie for helping with this one.
Top Ten Things Not To Do On Memorial Day
10 On Memorial Day, do not accept an invitation to your boss’ house for a picnic even if you think it will be good for your career. If you do, at best, you might just have an awful time. At worst, you might be pressed into service as one of the wait staff.
9 On Memorial Day, do not accept an invitation to your friend’s parents’ house on the lake. If you do, at best, you might be subjected to uncomfortable questions…
You may be wanting another holiday to celebrate but here are some good reasons not to celebrate President’s Day. Courtesy of John Howell over at Fiction Favorites. Enjoy ;)
Today’s list has been created to provide a little satire surrounding President’s Day. (Happy President’s Day) This is a holiday that I have had a tough time getting my mind around. Other than getting a Monday off, I haven’t been able to see the significance of it all. Yes, Lincoln and Washington each have a birthday two days apart and this may be the only reason. Of course, there have been forty-four presidents and most have made at least half of the population angry at one time or another. Let’s just say if a President were a member of the family their birthday would in a probability be forgotten. So I’m making the supposition President’s Day is an invention of mattress and car companies for an excuse to have a sale. Here is a tongue in cheek top ten things not to do on President’s Day.
Here is the 32nd installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy. Happy Valentine’s Day!
10. For Valentine’s Day, do not get your sweetheart a 10-pound box of chocolates or a case of craft brew when you know your sweetheart made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. At best, your sweetheart will accept the gift in the spirit in which it was given and just be grateful you even remembered Valentine’s Day. At worst, your sweetheart will eat or drink the whole thing and then make you pay for a new wardrobe when your sweetheart’s pants no longer fit due to the chocolate or beer-fed waistline. (more…)
Here is the 26th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to consume everything in the city. If you do, at best you may gain a few pounds. At worst, you will never ever feel better again.
9. On New Year’s Eve, do not think everyone is in love with you. If you do, at best you may get a new roommate. At worst, you may wake up next to a stranger who is now your spouse.
8. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to scream “Happy New Year” more than once. If you do, at best you will lose your voice. At worst, someone may in fact put a sock in it.
7. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to invent and issue resolutions for everyone else. If you do, at best you will lose some friends. At worst, your host may resolve to ban you to the patio.
6. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to help others drink more. If you do, at best you may be the last person standing. At worst, you may be named as a co-defendant on a DUI.
5. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to give everyone a kiss. If you do, at best they will all think you are a nerd. At worst, you may pick up a nice case of bubonic plague.
4. On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to sing “Auld Lang Syne.” If you do, at best, your off-key rendition will be recorded for playback when you are sober. At worst, you’ll not know the words and remove all doubt as to your IQ.
3. On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to tell everyone exactly what you think of them. If you do, at best, a few will want to take you outside. At worst, several will.
2. On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to remove some of your clothes to be more comfortable. If you do, at best, you may not know when to stop. At worst, there could be additional records of your lack of discretion that you will need to pay handsomely to squelch.
1. On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to get behind the wheel of a car after you have won the shots per hour contest. If you do you, at best you will end up in jail. At worst, you might just hurt someone.
Marie at 1 Write Way 