Today I am a happy guest over at Jill Weatherholt’s blog. Jill is wonderful writer and also one of the nicest people I’ve met in the blogosphere. I consider her a good friend. Please enjoy my spot in the spotlight and take a tour of Jill’s blog while you are there :)
Tag: blogging
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A couple of months ago, I wrote a Dear John letter. This was a true Dear John letter in that it went to my friend and fellow blogger John Howell (author of the thriller My GRL), to tell him that I was bowing out of our Monday collaboration at the end of our first year. My throat was so tight I could barely swallow when I hit the Send button, my eyes moist as I accepted the finality of that message. I had been slowly turning down or turning off projects in an effort to slow myself down and gain more time to write. This was the last project to let go, and it was the hardest to let go.
I’m not done with blogging. But to John and a few others, I’ve mentioned feeling overwhelmed, at a chronic loss for time to get anything done. I spend my days at work and at home, “satisficing,” that is, doing well enough and just enough to get through to the next day. I don’t like living or working like that. (Although at my day job, that is often standard operating procedure.)
I’ve been feeling frazzled (not to be confused with Fizzle, the delightful creature in Charles E. Yallowitz’s The Legends of Windemere series). The word frazzled comes to me from a news article in The Seattle Times, “One Man’s Year Off Social Media.” Last year, David Roberts, a staff writer at green magazine Grist.org, decided to go offline. He explained: “I think in tweets now. My hands start twitching if I’m away from my phone for more than 30 seconds. I can’t even take a pee now without getting ‘bored.’”
Granted, my condition is nowhere near as serious as Roberts’ was, but the potential is there. My loyalties were becoming divided: loyalties between my self, my work colleagues, my online community were frequently in conflict.
After a year offline, David Roberts made these observations: “How nice it is not to have an opinion about everything. How dedicating himself to immediately beneficial real-world activities–even just washing dishes–feels more productive […].”
When I’ve gone offline for a vacation, I find I don’t miss the grid as much as I initially think I will. It’s not that I don’t miss people. My dearest blogging friends are always with me in my mind and in my heart, even when I don’t access their blogs. I just don’t miss being tethered to my computer.
I ask for your patience and understanding. I will be less active in the blogging community, but I won’t be gone. If I Like your blog post but don’t comment, you can be sure that I actually read your post and did like it but I needed to move on. Perhaps I simply didn’t have enough time to write a comment. Or I was interrupted by a cat fight.
Let me share a secret, but you have to promise not to tell anyone: Writing is very difficult for me. I often wonder why I do write when a two-sentence comment might take me 10 to 15 minutes to compose. This blog post will go through several revisions (
5678 to be exact) before it sees the light of day (or, more accurately, the light of your computer screen).Maybe I have this wrong. I’ve been able to write 50,000 words in 30 days so maybe it isn’t the writing. It’s the publishing. I can’t let my writing go out into the world without making sure that I’m saying exactly what I mean to say. I will spend a ridiculous amount of time on one comment before I hit the Reply button. Too often, my real-time comments, off-the-cuff, rough draft, stream-of-consciousness utterances have been misunderstood. After awhile, a person gets tired of having to explain that she meant this in her comment, not that.
So this post marks a turn in my life as a blogger. My original posts may become farther and fewer between as I get into a groove that (I hope) enables me to refocus on my writing and (again, I hope) make some sense of the piles of printed pages taking up space on my bedroom floor.
And, Gwen Stephens, please don’t recommend that I get up at 4 AM. That time is my sweet spot for sleepy time :)
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About a month ago, I pledged to The Writer’s Rebel Creed 2014, developed by Sheri A. Larsen, in collaboration with followers of her blog. (If you want to “pledge,” all you need to do is sign up on her blog by clicking here.)
Now, the Creed is not terribly hard to follow, at least at first blush. But by my estimations, I’m not doing so good. Of course, with my rebellious nature, I’m all too frequently breaking my own promises to myself. Maybe I should have developed my own creed: pledging to not write at all, to have no belief in my abilities, and to be chicken-sh*t in writing something new.
Now, if I can be allowed to consider commenting on other blogs as writing, then I have been writing regularly. Yea!
Oops, I think I hear some people calling “Foul!” Okay, so I need to improve in that area.
The thing is, I’m still sitting on a fence about my novel writing. I wrote my first novel in 2007 and the next four in 2012 and 2013. All of them were written during NaNoWriMo events and all are first or second drafts. I’ve started reading the first draft of one novel, and then got derailed about halfway through. It’s not bad (it’s a first draft, for crying out loud), but the whole concept of novel writing intimidates me. I have to create a world, one that is believable even if fictional. It’s a daunting task and I still wonder whether I’m up to it.
Which leads to my wavering belief in my abilities. Which, in truth, is just another day in the life of moi. Every so often, a fellow blogger/writer pumps my head full of self-esteem (with a good measure of hot air) as Helena Hann-Basquiat did in her post here, but eventually I fall back to earth (and on my ass) and consider my abilities to be figments of my imagination (yes, I know, it’s circular thinking).
But then I write something NEW, something that takes even me off-guard, and all because of a discussion of mashed potatoes on Jill Weatherholt’s blog.
As far as trusting in the beauty of revisions, well, I’ve already mentioned that I’m merely halfway through just reading the first draft of one of my novels. Enough said there.
For now and the foreseeable future, I’m eschewing bettering my marketing skills since I have nothing to market. I’m not even really trying to “grow a base” as much as just hang with the awesome community that has grown around me.
Finally, giving back to my community? Supporting other writers? I see those two items so closely related that I won’t try to address them separately. I’ll just say that supporting other writers is perhaps the most fun thing I do on my blog. It’s actually the one constant thing (aside from my Mondays with John) that gives meaning to my blog.
Now, I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m not trying to milk sympathy or garner more boosts to my ego than I’ve already been given (although if you really want to compliment, go for it!). I’m just feeling very matter-of-fact, very grounded actually. I think it’s a good thing that I question my novel writing. And it’s a good thing that I’m acknowledging that I haven’t spent as much time writing as I initially intended. The stories are there; they’re just floating around in my head. When I’m ready, and only then, I’ll pick up that half-read novel or jot down some of those ideas.
In the meantime, I have some writers to support, a community to give back to, and some blogs to comment on. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get inspired by a discussion on why avocado is so often an ingredient in sushi rolls.
So, what about you? How are you doing with your writing/blogging/marketing commitments? Do you get disappointed when your favorite sushi roll has avocado in it?
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I’ve been a little busy lately. First, responsibilities and obligations at my day job have increased since my bureau chief retired, and another coworker has been working less than half-time due to medical problems, and we still have a vacant position. As my supervisor noted, she and I are “doing the work of five people.” It’s temporary; we hope to fill the vacant position soon, but for now … I’m busy.
This is a cleaned-up version of my work space, the long month of January finally over. But it hasn’t been all work and no play. It’s just that the playing of late hasn’t included writing (at least, not much). What do I do when I’m not working, writing, or practicing yoga? Yup, I’m knitting. And since there are babies waiting to be born, I’m knitting small.
Baby sweater for coworker. You may say that this sweater is cute, even lovely. It was definitely fun to knit. I love knitting cables.
Detail of sweater showing cable and raglan sleeve, But my coworker might hate me because the yarn is a blend of mink and wool and, thus, must be handwashed :) But it is small and it’s an outer sweater and it’s a camel color so if the baby spits up now and then, the spit might just blend in :) But what do I know? I’ve never had kids and aside from having to babysit my nephews many, many years ago, I’ve managed to avoid baby spit, baby puke, and dirty diapers.
And so I’m busy, but I write in my head as much as I can. Sometimes I get inspired and push out a bit of a story, surprising myself, but also reminding myself that the words are there. It’s just that I’m busy right now.
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I have been rather remiss of late. I’ve been honored a few times recently with awards, but I’ve been slow to respond to the award givers. Time flies. Seems like just yesterday, I was posing for this picture …
But just last week, I posed for this one … (more…)
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I’ve been thinking a lot about my personality type lately. I’ve had the unhappy realization that even in a virtual world, I’m still an introvert. It may be easier to project myself as an extrovert, as someone who thrives on being with large groups of people, but it ain’t the truth about me. My favorite face-to-face social events tend to be one-on-one encounters, such as a long lunch with one close friend. My limit is a dinner party of four, where I am one of the four. At the young age of 55, I started to finally embrace the introvert that is me after I read Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. For the first time in my life, I felt that my introversion was more “normal” than my society wanted me to believe.
But then I reentered the blogosphere and now I have a wide circle of blogging acquaintances, many of whom have become friends that I’ve grown to care about deeply. I value each one of these new friendships, and yet I still experience that paralyzing feeling I get when I feel multiple demands for my attention. Like when I open my Gmail account and see 200 new blog posts all wanting and deserving my attention. These are not people speaking directly to me all at once, but the sensation is the same. I feel overwhelmed and then I shut down.
So yesterday morning, upon discovering that for some reason WordPress is not sending me the daily digests of the blogs I follow as I requested, I turned to my Facebook page. I started with Candace Johnson at Change It Up Editing and Writing Services who had shared Lauren Sapala’s blog post on making time to write. [That is an excellent post, by the way.] From there, I saw another post Lauren had written called Know Your Type, and Then Sit Down to Write. Well, there we go. I was familiar with Jung’s personality test (also referred to the Myers-Briggs test). [Disclaimer: what is online is an abridged version of the actual test, and there is some controversy about it. Still, it’s fun to take and can be very insightful.] And, true to my introverted self, I love taking tests. You can take the test here.
I’ve taken this test in the past and as I’ve matured, my scores have changed slightly. What has not changed is the first letter of the score: “I” for Introvert. This morning’s test revealed me to be an ISFJ: Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. To be more specific, I have strong preferences of introversion over extroversion by 89%; sensing over intuition by 12%; feeling over thinking by 38%; and judging over perceiving by 44%. Over the years, I seem to have become more sensing than intuitive, but my other “preferences” have changed little. So what’s an introvert like me to do?
I’m not about to retreat into the quiet cocoon of anonymity just because I get a little overwhelmed now and then. I just need to relearn and pay attention to my limits. I would never turn back the clock on my blogging, for the friends I’ve gained have enriched my life beyond my imagination. Not only has my growth as a writer accelerated in the last few months due to the support of my blogging friends, but so has my self-confidence in general. In my real physical world, I have a handful of friends that I feel comfortable enough with to be fully myself. It’s a stark, finite number that, while I enjoy solitude, still leaves me uneasy. Is it me that is incapable of having more than two good friends? Or is it my immediate physical world that is incapable of accepting me as I am?
In my real virtual world, the number seems infinite. I am friends with people I never would have met except for the blogosphere, people who live in the U.S. and Canada but also far-flung countries like Australia, Latvia, Italy, Egypt. For an introvert like myself, this is nothing short of amazing. For an introvert, this could only happen through writing.
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Is it August yet? OMG, it’s August! Yes, I’ve been lolling in the luxury of not having to meet a WORD COUNT for the past few days. Methinks it’s getting harder, not easier, to cough up 50K words, even if a third of those wind up on my blog or someone else’s blog :) NaNoWriMo in November will come soon enough and I might have to do something completely different for that word challenge. In the meantime, I’m still trying to decide what to do between now and then, besides the usual blogging, reblogging, commenting, tweeting, facebooking, and just general making a nuisance of myself. While I try to sort this out, let me revisit my RCC goals and see where I’m standing (or sitting or squatting as the case may be).
My Goals
(1) Get off my own back. I actually think I’m getting better at this. I did manage to push through to 50K in Camp NaNoWriMo but I was prepared to lose honorably, without any loss of pride. Any number of words I wrote was more than what I had started with and I could live with that. (But I’m glad I didn’t have to.)
(2) Set up a schedule of posting that gives me time to write, but doesn’t make followers think I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I still haven’t sorted this out, and I’ve missed a number of tantalizing writing prompts on The Community Storyboard. If you haven’t been over there, do pay a visit. There’s plenty of great reading even if you not incllned to write.
(3) Get organized. That may have to wait another week or two. Here are my excuses: (1) my kitchen is in the last throes of being remodeled. I’ve been living without a kitchen sink for over a month now, and nothing makes me feel more disorganized than a unorganized house. Fingers crossed that the remodeling will be done by mid-August. (2) I have a business trip next week–a road trip no less with two other people meaning virtually no down time for the introvert that I am. (I admit that blogging has brought out my inner extrovert, as well as a few other inner things, but in the physical world, I am truly an introvert).
(4) Write the third novel in my series, The Widow’s Club (working title). OMG, I actually met this goal! And this is what I’ve been like since.
So I’m done for July. Hopefully I’ll have a schedule (eventually) for regular blog posts. Please stay tune for Monday’s Top Ten Things Not To Do posts that John Howell from Fiction Favorites and I collaborate on to give you all a chuckle for the beginning of your week.
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A Spotlight on Briana Vedsted, blogger, author, and all-around sweet person, hosted at the Legends of Windemere. Read on!
Raise your hand if you’ve been fortunate to meet this phenomenal blogger. I see a lot of hands and that’s as it should be. Briana is one of the kindest bloggers I have ever met and definitely a bright spot on WordPress. Her blog is filled with character interviews, her ranching tales, her publishing journey, poetry (a recent addition), and a vast array of posts that are always informative and entertaining. Her stories range from Western to Werewolf fantasy, so one can be sure that she’s an author to keep an eye on. She does so much for those around her that I think it’s high time she gets a spotlight.
Everyone go visit Briana’s blog by clicking on her picture. Also, go and buy her Western short stories in preparation for her first traditionally published book, Me & Billy the Kid. Click on the cover to get to…
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I’ve been honored with TWO awards this week! I am rather awestruck since never in my life have I felt so popular then when I rebooted my blog :) The first award I received this week is the Shine On award given to me by the truly inspiring Running To Her Dreams blogger. If you haven’t visited her blog yet, then go now! You can always find your way back to me later ;)
As with all awards, there are a few rules (which I may or may not follow ;))1. Display the award logo on your blog. ‘Tis done.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you. Yup, did that, too :)
3. State 7 things about yourself. Anything? OK, here’s to my boring self:
- It’s Friday and I’m taking the day off because
- My kitchen is being “demolished” because
- We’re getting new kitchen cabinets!
- Because the old ones were original (32 years and counting) and I tend to be slow to start home improvement projects
- I picked out the new cabinets which are white and double-wrapped with polymer to protect from water damage
- To my chagrin, the new cabinets are from the Martha Stewart line because
- I don’t like Martha Stewart the person, but I know I will love my new cabinets ;)
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
This is always the biggest challenge for me because I haven’t yet figured out a seamless way to copy and paste these links without having multiple windows open :( But I’ve got time on my hands today so here goes:- Bastet and Sekhmet
- Teri Polen
- Readful Things Blog
- Busy Mind Thinking
- Running Father
- Jade Reyner
- The D/A Dialogues
- Julian Froment’s Blog
- The Write Place
- Pat Bean’s Blog
- Aging Abundantly
- Saunved
- Green Embers
- Year ‘Round Thanksgiving Project
- Talking Experience
I will now proceed to the second award, the Liebster Award, bestowed upon me by the ever erudite John W. Howell at http://johnwhowell.com/. Do not hesitate to visit his blog! I’ll still be here when you get back ;)
In accordance with the Liebster rules:A. List eleven random facts about yourself
- My birthday is tomorrow (for those of you in a different time zone, tomorrow could be yesterday, it could be today or it could still be tomorrow ;))
- I will be six years shy of eligibility for Social Security, but something tells me I’ll keep working
- I don’t have kids so I have no sense of time passing which means I have no sense of myself aging …
- Until I take a look in the mirror and do not immediately recognize myself
- Even though my hair is gray, in my mind it’s still dark brown
- I think I’m more physically fit than I was in my 20s
- But I also have more aches and pains than I did in my 20s
- To celebrate the arrival of our new kitchen cabinets, we had a beer before dinner and then wine with dinner
- We both woke up the next morning remembering why we shouldn’t do that
- I’m looking forward to getting my house back in order after our kitchen is done
- I would like someone else to get my house back in order after our kitchen is done
B. Nominate eleven other bloggers for the Liebster Award (why not … I’m on a roll!)
- Running for Her Dreams
- Robynn Gabel’s Common Sense Experience
- Eric John Baker
- Amber Skye Forbes
- mybrandofgenius
- Jill Weatherholt
- The Crossover
- 30 Days of Self Discovery
- Word Savant
- kiralynblue
- lindaghill
C. Notify these bloggers: In due time, I have to finish this post first …
D. Ask eleven questions that the bloggers must answer upon accepting the Liebster Award.
- What would be your perfect meal (if calories and expense were of no concern)?
- What is your favorite footwear?
- What is your favorite automobile (if any)?
- How do we achieve world peace?
- Who or what is your muse?
- What is your favorite time of day?
- Do you see dead people? (If yes, explain. If no, then I am relieved.)
- What is your favorite form of exercise?
- When is your favorite time to work on your blog?
- What is your top pet peeve?
- What makes you the most happy?
E. Answer the eleven questions that you were asked when you were nominated
- Do you want to be rich and famous? Rich but not famous (I don’t want no stinkn’ paparazzi following me around)
- If yes why and if no why? I answered Yes and No because why wouldn’t I want to be rich and why would I want to be famous if I could just be rich?
- What is the most important day of the week for you? Saturday
- What is your favorite dessert? Ben and Jerry’s Americone ice cream
- How long did it take you to feel good about writing? About 40 years
- What is your favorite time of day? Whenever my cat Luisa has finally fallen asleep
- Who do you depend upon? My husband
- Has anyone ever let you down? Of course, but it was usually my fault.
- Where on Earth do you think is closest to heaven? Atop Black Point at Mono Lake, California
- What was the most valuable advice anyone ever gave you? Trust your intuition
- What is the most indulgent gift you ever received or given? I don’t know if I would call it an indulgence, but the most $$ gift was when I gave a family member $1,000 to help him go to Costa Rica for experimental treatment of MS. We can’t say the treatments actually helped, but I’ve never regretted helping him get the chance to try.
I end this post, with both hands patting myself on the back :) Cheers, everyone!
Marie at 1 Write Way 