Here is the 25th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not battle another for a parking place. If they are similarly crazed, you may just lose the front end of your car while the other driver yells “Tawanda! Tawanda!” at you as if she is Kathy Bates in Green Fried Tomatoes.
9. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not take your children with you. At best, they will get in the way; at worst, they will be a witness to your stepped-up aggressive behavior when you Taser another parent for the last remaining iPod Nano.
8. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not leave home without a list. If you do, at best, you will no doubt forget something or someone. At worst, you will be tempted to grab armloads of stuff with the rationale what doesn’t work can be returned only to find out after Christmas that you were wrong.
7. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not think you are going to get anything on sale. If you think you will, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, you will be afraid to go home given what you have spent.
6. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not forget sizes on your list. If you do, at best, you may just misjudge. At worst, you will get your mother-in-law an extra-large and you’ll never hear the end of it (even if it is the right size).
5. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not think expensive will take the place of thoughtful. If you do, at best, you will spend too much and become every one’s favorite gift giver. At worst, none of your gifts will be appreciated and all of them will be returned for cash.
4. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not have everything giftwrapped at the store. If you do, at best, it will appear as if you did not put your heart into the gifts. At worst, you could be accused of giving gifts you bought for someone else.
3. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not buy gifts that you yourself would not want to receive. If you do, at best, you might just get it back someday. At worst, the gift might be as tasteless as you thought it was and now you are the embarrassed recipient.
2. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not stop until your list is complete. If you do, at best, the person you left off will give you the best gift ever and you’ll have to admit that you got them nothing. At worst, your excuse of running out of time will be the straw that broke the camel’s back since you had a year to make it right.
1. When shopping at the last minute for Christmas, do not stop humming your favorite Christmas song. If you do, you might break out in tears and nobody likes a crier this time of year.
1. He was also a talented cartoonist, who drew what is perhaps the most famous Victorian cartoon. The cartoon in question, ‘True Humility’, appeared in Punch magazine for which du Maurier drew many cartoons from the 1860s onwards. The cartoon (see right), is the origin of the phrase ‘curate’s egg’, used to refer to something that is ‘good in parts’ – a mixed bag…
Marie at 1 Write Way 