Marie at 1 Write Way

One Thing About Loss

Ceramic fat bluebird with patina of gold mostly on wings and tail. Beak is slightly ajar and pointed upward as if in greeting.

Two nights ago I finally did what I had been avoiding for months: I looked for a blogging friend’s obituary. The sad news is I found it. Some of you might know Nancy Jo Anderson aka Zazamataz on WordPress. Her blog is still up at zazamataz.wordpress.com, but she has not posted since December 11, 2024.

According to her obituary, Nancy died on March 14, 2025. She was only 62. Nancy was open about her illness. In her post of April 24, 2024 (“I’m back. Again.”), she explained that she had both COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and CHF (chronic heart failure). My oldest sister Charlotte had both of these conditions, and it was the COPD that killed her. I imagine it was the same with Nancy.

I hadn’t known Nancy for long. I “met” her through Ally Bean’s blog The Spectacled Bean, and quickly came to cherish her friendship, her stories, her humor, her openness. She didn’t shy away from writing about being sad and depressed, her struggles to get proper care, and her many “visits” to the hospital.

Her humor was a gift. She would write about her hospital stays with such comedy that I’d often laugh out loud, forgetting for those moments the fear and pain she most likely felt while it was happening.

And she was generous. In May 2023, she organized the “the great moose giveaway.” It was a clever way to clear out her house and send out a little love to the world. I was game for anything that involved yarn (naturally). But what I got from Nancy was so spot-on, I was speechless when I saw it.

Ceramic fat bluebird with patina of gold mostly on wings and tail. Beak is slightly ajar and pointed upward as if in greeting.

This ceramic bluebird is more precious to me than anything else Nancy could have sent me. I have it sitting on a desk next to the loveseat where I usually have my morning tea. Seeing the bluebird, remembering Nancy, is a nice way to start my day.

I could have “looked for” Nancy long before Saturday night. I thought of it often, but sometimes you don’t want to confirm what you already know.

Although she’s physically gone, I hope some of you might visit her blog. Her spirit lives on in her writing and in each of us whose lives she touched.

Marie A Bailey

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17 responses to “One Thing About Loss”

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience some time ago—a friend disappeared from her blog and I finally looked for and found her obituary. Sometimes it’s better to know and grieve than to worry. It’s an odd aspect of the online community.

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    • Thank you, Jan. Good point that sometimes it’s better to know and grieve than to worry. It was the worrying that got me to finally look for her. I am often amazed by the connections I’ve made with people I’ve never met in person and might never meet in person. It’s interesting. I’m such an introvert and becoming more reclusive as I get older, yet this warm, companionable online community that has grown around me over the past 13 years keeps me from feeling isolated.

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  4. This is such sad news. I’ve lost a few good blogging friends over the years. It’s as painful as losing in person friends. That little bluebird is a perfect reminder of your friendship. ❤️

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    • Thank you, Darlene. I am dreading the inevitable. So many people I know and care about are around my age or older. But I am trying to accept the grief along with the gratitude that people like Nancy were part of my life.

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    • Oh, Liz, that’s rough. I know it’s inevitable, especially at my age since most of my family and friends, including blogging friends, are around my age or older. But it’s never easy to let go. And, yes, the bluebird is a wonderful reminder of Nancy’s spirit.

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