Marie at 1 Write Way

Mother’s Day: Remembering My Mom and A Story to Give Away

This is my first Mother’s Day without my mom. I don’t grieve my loss of her as much as I first did, but I miss her. She was 99, just over a month shy of turning 100, and she was done with life. She wanted to go, and it would be cruel of me to wish that she hadn’t. Instead, I’m grateful that she lived long enough for us to finally get along with each other.

I am my mom’s youngest, and I was unexpected. I often felt unwanted as well, being that my birth and childhood seemed to coincide with my father’s decline into mental illness. When I was quite young, I was intimdated by my mother. She had a strong personality, and she didn’t seem to care how deeply her words might cut.

When I became a teenager and then a young adult, we were like oil and water. She’d argue that she just wanted to be friends with me, protect me from the dangers of the world. I’d argue that I needed to make mistakes. I needed to be on my own.

But there were other times. I confided in her when my boyfriend stood me up again, or when I found out that a different boyfriend had been cheating on me. When she couldn’t talk me out of moving to California, she took me with her to AAA and got me all the maps I’d need to find my way.

There were times in my life when I thought I wouldn’t miss her once she was gone. It was easy to feel that way while she was alive, and we spent most of our time arguing.

After her second husband died, and she was living on her own for the first time in her life, she changed. She mellowed. Live and let live. Other than the occasional admonishment to remember my brother’s birthday, we got along. She’d talk about birds mostly, or playing the slot machines at the casino, or getting her hair done, or going berry picking, or going to lunch with my sister and a few nieces. She’d talk about my sisters or the grandkids or her remaining siblings. Mostly she’d talk about herself.

As the years went by, we had more frequent but brief conversations. She tired easily. And after her daughters had died, she cried a lot.

In the spring of 1992, I wrote the first draft of a short story for a writing workshop led by Jerome Stern. I have spent the better part of my writing life trying to sort out my parents’ relationship and to see my parents as individuals, separate from me.

Old photograph of young couple standing close in a yard.
My mom and dad when they were so young.

I wasn’t privy to their intimate moments, their lives before I showed up, and even after I was born, I was shielded from knowing too many details. So I had to turn to fiction to help myself understand what their lives might have been like.

The result is “Love Me Tender.” My story is available through BookFunnel. You can download your preferred reading format through this link: Love Me Tender.

Here’s a brief description:

Sometimes we love someone we can’t help, beyond loving them. Irene Newkirk loves her husband but his mental illness continues to worsen despite hospital stays and treatments and Irene’s desperate efforts to keep her family whole. Love Me Tender tells the story of a few hours in Irene’s life as she comes to grips with the fact that her husband won’t be coming home again.

Again, this story is free to read, unless you want a print copy which is available at Lulu.

My story is not available through Amazon or any other outlet but BookFunnel and Lulu.

Thank you!

Marie A Bailey

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33 responses to “Mother’s Day: Remembering My Mom and A Story to Give Away”

  1. Marie, I’m so sorry. It is sad not to have a mother on Mother’s Day, especially the first one, even if you didn’t always get along. Sending love and hugs. 💙 I will read your story. I always wish I could have seen my parents when they were young and newly in love.

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  2. Wonderful read. For many women, their relationship with their mother is difficult. I am lucky on that front. Congrats on your book! Downloading it as we speak.

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    • Thank you for letting me know, Eileen. I tested a download myself, but it’s a relief to know it works for others. And a big thanks for downloading my story 💜 I hope you’re having a good day too.

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  4. I just read the story, Marie. You are such a good writer. I truly mean that.

    I was riveted, but what a heartbreaking story. In my head it was all black and white and grey tones, except for the pink rollers.

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  5. What a beautiful story, Marie. I happen to be reading To the Lighthouse right now, and the feel of your piece fits right in with Mrs. Ramsay’s internal monologues. Virginia would be proud of you!

    I hadn’t heard of Book Funnel before. Maybe you can write about your experience with it soon.

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    • Thank you, Kevin! I’m blushing because I’m a fan of Woolf, even considered writing a master’s thesis about her. I can write something up about BookFunnel. I came across it through Carrie Rubin who’s been using it to send out ARCs. It’s pretty nifty, so far.

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  7. I just finished your story. Perhaps I should wait and process it more but I can’t. It is a compelling story. I know it’s not outright autobiographical, but there is enough of the pain there that I wish so much to give you a hug.

    I think that most of us have some period that we don’t get along well with our mother. It’s something we need to go through to break free. After I left home, Mom and I had a good friendship. I’m very glad for you that you and your mom eventually found that for yourselves. I’m sorry that Mother’s day is so hard for you. I hope, in time, that it will get better.

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    • Aw, Zazzy, thank you for reading my story, and for your kind words about it. I agree that mother-daughter relationships can be difficult at times, even when they are close. I’ve seen that with my sister and her sons, my niece-in-law and her daughter. I think the key is to be open to having a good relationship, no matter how late it might seem.

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  9. Mother’s Day hits differently as time goes by. I know that your remembrances of your mother are authentic but not necessarily the same now as they used to be or how they’ll be in the future. Relationships with parents are never static, even after they’re gone.

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  13. my heartfelt condolences on your loss, dear. also, tx much for visiting my site. I love anything to do with books & would be thrilled if you’d write a guest blog post for my site, which is for anyone who enjoys writing, or books, and all the arts. If you think it might be fun or helpful to have my followers (who total about 10k across my various social media) meet you, here’s the link for general guidelines: https://wp.me/p6OZAy-1SOc – best, da-AL

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  14. I just saw this. Beautifully written Marie. I love reading stories about your Mom because I can totally picture it! I have to tell you about my Mom’s last year, unbeknownst to us, and the painful two years that followed. I just downloaded your book on BookFunnel to read later.
    Deb M.

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    • Deb, so good to hear from you. I would like to hear about your mom and all that followed. I got some snippets from Shirley, but not much. I hope you’re doing well. xo

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