Marie at 1 Write Way

Five Things in Passing

Writing

I am still writing, just privately and inconsistently. I didn’t write at all while we were on our Eclipse trip and then not for a few days after we returned. And I was fine with that. And then I started again, reminding myself of all the things I do outside of writing so I wouldn’t be surprised when sometimes I forget to write.

In the midst of all this, I finalized a short story that I plan to make available for free. I started the story in 1992 in a writing workshop with Jerome Stern. Although it is fiction, I had my parents in mind while I wrote it. Now that they are both deceased, I feel I can share the story now. I want to release it on Mother’s Day. Wish me well.

Creativity

I’ve been making potholders again, a few to gift to friends for upcoming special occasions. The rest will pile up until I can figure out what to do with them. I’ve also been knitting a pair of socks but I put those aside in order to knit a scarf. I bought this kit in Spruce –Bennet Bandana–from a shop in Thomasville, GA. It was a perfect knitting project for our trip: simple to knit, simple to stow in my bag. I could have brought the socks, but … well, I wanted a break from them.

Garden

When we got back from San Antonio, I was thrilled to find that our Bugleweed plant was straight-up blooming.

Cluster of blue-flowered spikes and dark green leaves.
Bugleweed in our side yard.

Even more exciting, a small plant I had recently bought, and promptly forgot the name of, also started to bloom. Thankfully, I remembered to include the tag the plant came with: Fringed Campion.

Grief

As Mother’s Day approaches, my mood is shifting downward. I know I’m adding to my stress by my plan to release a short story, but what else should I do? It will be my first Mother’s Day without my mom. How else can I honor her and my memory of her? And my sister Shirley. Almost two years she’s been gone and yet my heart still twists in pain when I see the Mother’s Day cards that I would have bought for her. There’s no getting over this kind of loss.

Cats

But for our cats, I’d be in a sorrier state. This guy here … we are now calling him Snugglebunny. He snuggled up to me all on his own. I’m so glad I was able to snap a picture and record the event.

Orange tabby cat curled up on a bed.

Marie A Bailey

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39 responses to “Five Things in Passing”

  3. How wonderful of you to release your short story for Mother’s Day (And you know, Marie, if it ends up being later, that’s okay, too… No need to stress about stuff!)

    I think I am going to start knitting the dishrags again. The ones I buy at the store are pure crap. now where did I put the pattern for it…. and my knitting needles… and the cotton I use for the dishrags? ;-)

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  4. wishing you the best as you release the story! So glad you’re writing!…felt the pain of loss, you reminded me to truly enjoy my mom this year…I know these years are the countdown and we all just never know our expiry date, so embrace our now! Keep well Marie

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    • Natti, good to hear from you! Thank you for the support. Yes, embrace your mom. I was telling a friend today that we’re never really prepared even when we know it’s inevitable.

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  6. I understand the need to honor lost family members. I was thinking about that in regard to my mother earlier today. You’ll share your new story on your blog when the time comes?

    So, now I know the name of the purple flowers that take over everything–bugleweed!

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  7. I like this post. Sometimes taking time to assess where we are in life, how we’re living it, makes for the most poignant posts. Thanks for sharing what is going with you today.

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  8. I’m glad that you’re writing again but it sounds like you needed a break from it. It’s good to have a few days off where you aren’t deep into all the difficult feelings you often write about. I’m looking forward to reading your new short story.

    You don’t get over this kind of loss. But you do get through it. Each day is a little easier in some ways. My mom loved me and wouldn’t want me to be in constant pain over her death. We talked about it while we still could. I think your mom wants you to move forward to, but there are no clear cut rules for grief. You will do it in your own time. Just remember to be kind to yourself.

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  9. What kindness and comfort there is in your plan to release a story written with your folks in mind on/around Mothers Day. Yes, honoring. Yes, healing. Perhaps Raji senses your extra level of need these days – he’s offering up his inner Snugglebunny just for your delight!

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  11. Yes grief is tough. Thank goodness for the “snuggle bunnies” in our lives. And flowers…they remind me of new beginnings . Personally, I don’t think we are ever supposed to stop grieving. It is just a reminder of how much someone was loved. We CAN walk through different chapters of it though. Maybe as you progress with your book, it will also bring you a sense of contentment. Sending hugs. Still missing my dad exponentially….

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    • Thank you, Donna. I do feel that the deeper we love someone, the more we’ll grieve when they are gone. And we don’t stop grieving. We just, as you say, walk through different chapters. I also think sharing the memories of our loved ones—whether through a published story or a blog post—helps with the grief. It’s not closure, but somehow I feel they still live, in a way, through our stories.

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      • Exactly right. I have heard people die twice. Once on the day of death and the second time…the last time someone utters their name or a memory. So…say their names. Always say their names.

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  12. Such great photos, Marie! So glad your plants are blooming. And what a beautiful scarf! I’m glad you’re making that! I’m crocheting pillows and a llama hat right now.

    Holidays are so hard with losses. I’m so sorry for yours. That story must have been hard to write. I will undoubtedly be a blessing to someone who might be facing the same situation–a first Mother’s Day without their mom.

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    • Thank you, L. Marie! I wrote the first draft for the story in 1992 so it wasn’t hard to write then because both my parents were alive. Not that I was about to let them see it … lol. But, yes, reading and revising it now with both of them gone has been difficult. It’s fiction, that is, I fictionalized their story because I would never have all the “facts” anyway.

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  13. Marie,

    I am thrilled that you not only are still writing but that you plan to let us read something. I feel sad every time I remember being in workshops with you and enjoying the time and thinking you were not writing.

    I’m sorry about your grief and the events that trigger fresh grief. Big hugs to you.

    Thanks for the update on your gardening and knitting and all–and especially dear Raji.

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    • Goodness, Luanne, for some reason this comment wound up in my Spam folder! Silly WP ;-) I often was writing in those workshops with you, but I just haven’t really done anything with much of what i wrote. It just takes me a long time to get my work out there :-)

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  14. I’m looking forward to reading your story, Marie. Losing a mother is a tragedy and more so when her memory is still fresh in your mind. I am happy for you that there are pleasant things surrounding you. Snugglebunny looks so comfortable.

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    • Thank you, Carol. Not a day goes by without me wishing I could call my mom and hear her talk about her birds one more time. She enjoyed watching various birds that would come to the feeder outside her kitchen window 🙂

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