Marie at 1 Write Way

A Tale of Mothers and Cats

Gray cat with white throat lying on brown rug.

When the going gets tough, I get my hair dyed. Here’s my latest do courtesy of Chelsea Salon and Spa.

Woman in her sixties, wearing purple-framed glasses and sporting a purple and slightly blue haircut (almost shoulder length). Sitting in her car and wearing a floral shirt that nearly matches her hair.
A selfie I sent to my husband to give him a heads-up about my dye job.

So what’s so tough?

Firstly, about ten days ago my mother fell while on her way to bed. Broke her hip. My brother found her the next morning. Yes, folks, the scenario we all dread when our elderly relatives live alone. She is fine right now. She had a simple surgery and was in hospital for a couple of more days before they scurried her over to a rehabilitation facility. My family has a long history with this facility.

It’s the same facility where my sister Shirley spent a couple of months recovering from a broken ankle. Also, a long, long time ago and known then only as “the infirmary,” it’s the same place where my father was cared for until his death. And it’s the same place where my surrogate grandfather Ted Albers was cared for until his death.  It’s now called River Ridge Living Center.

My mother is in a safe place. She’s not quite the happy camper, but her see-saw moods could be post-anesthesia blues or side effects of morphine or the realization that her days of independent living are over. My brother visits her a couple of times a day, other family are there frequently, pretty much the same or more as when she was living in her trailer, but now we have the benefit of knowing that she is getting the kind of care she has needed (and resisted) for a long time.

I am hoping and praying that she relaxes into her new life at River Ridge. Even before her fall, she was already living in the “here and now.” She wouldn’t remember what happened yesterday or maybe even a hour before. She can’t conceive of the future. If you try to tell her about something that will happen the next day, she’ll just shake her head and tell you she won’t remember that.

So my brother (her primary caregiver) is doing all he can to make sure that all her needs are being met and will continue to be met. I don’t believe she will or even should go home again, not without 24/7 care which she can only get properly at River Ridge. I said as much to my brother, and it wasn’t easy. I’ve never wanted my mom to wind up in a facility, but it’s really the best place for her now. She has said she is being treated well, and that gives me hope that she’ll become more comfortable with the place as time goes on. I’ve only talked to her a couple of times. Talking on the phone tires her out quickly. I miss our daily phone calls, but as long as others are there with her, I’m okay.

Secondly, Junior’s chronic condition has worsened. He was getting better, but then the lining of his left nostril became swollen and inflamed. With Dr. C’s permission, I started giving him steroid nose drops again, but with no appreciable improvement. Worse, he stopped eating on Tuesday. He had been getting picky with his food over time, preferring dry food to the wet, then treats to the regular dry, and then skipping meals altogether.

His left nostril is congested. We suspect he stopped eating because he can’t smell his food or the congestion makes his food unappetizing or both. We have used a baby aspirator to suck some of the snot out of his nose, but apparently not enough to give him comfort. I take him into the bathroom with me when I shower, hoping the steam will loosen the mucous up. The problem is that he’s not sneezing, not expelling the mucous himself, and our efforts at aspiration are probably too little too late. I’m angry with myself for not scheduling a recheck, instead waiting until we were in panic mode.

In the meantime, my husband devised a system where we essentially force-feed him using a syringe and pureed wet food. We’ve done this successfully a few times now, although all of us wind up with squirts of cat food on our hair and fur.

His appointment with Dr. C is a drop-off, meaning I drop him off at the hospital in the early morning and then wait to hear from Dr. C. I try to avoid drop-offs because I don’t like leaving my cats at the hospital all day (separation anxiety), but this is the earliest we could get him in.

So stay tuned and thank you for reading! Here’s a few pics of Junior from this morning, obviously taken against his will.

 

Marie A Bailey

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45 responses to “A Tale of Mothers and Cats”

  1. [I will just say: I LOVE the hair color! I dyed the bottom half of my hai purple for a year or so while I was still teaching—have never seen the point for me of dying it a “real” color.]

    For the rest, my heart is with you. There’s always something…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Your hair looks pretty. I’m sorry to read about your mother, that really is the scenario I dread. I’m glad she’s somewhere safe at the moment. I hope your cat straightens up and decides to be healthy. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Ally. Oh, I so regret posting before I knew how Junior would be. I think I was hoping that writing about him would somehow make him better. Sadly, we had to have him euthanized. It was a fast-growing mass in his head that was causing his suffering. Any treatment would have required dragging out his pain, and we just couldn’t do that to him.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. oh, poor kitty! he looks like he needs to blow his nose. :(

    good to hear that your mom is on the mend and currently being taken care of around the clock! hoping she settles in nicely once she feels better. <3

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Jill. I do remember that you love purple :-) We had to make the tough decision with Junior. His symptoms this time around pointed to a fast-growing mass in his skull. We got to be with him for a few minutes before the end, but it broke our hearts to hear him struggle to breathe. He’s in a better place now.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Junior has attitude!!
    I understand all of your feelings about your mom and her disabilities. I have gone through the same thing with my mom and it was such a battle to get her to move to an assisted living place which she needed so badly. I think if she had moved earlier, the rest of her life would’ve been easier.

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  9. This is one of those times I wish that WP had a hug choice or something other than like. I hope you take it as my acknowledgement of your pain and hey, I really like your hair. I’ve been struggling and tried to go purple at home a couple times. I also need someone I can trust to cut it.

    I remember Mom in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. That was when she recognized what was going on. They told us she was too old for it to get really bad, something else would get her first. They were wrong. I feel for you and your family. At least you know she is in a safe place now.

    I’m also sorry to hear about Junior. We’ve had a steroid honeymoon for almost three weeks. I hope they can do something to give Junior back his quality of life.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Zazzy. Keep trying to turn your hair purple. It’s worth the effort ;-)

      I’m grateful my mom doesn’t have Alzheimer’s but I’m sure she has some form of dementia by now. And I am grateful she’s getting 24/7 care. In a weird sort of way, I think that level of care is making it easier for her to let go.

      I’m sad to say that we had to have Junior euthanized on Thursday evening. He had the clinical signs of nose cancer. Given his age, how much he was already suffering, and how fast the mass was spreading, we (including our vet) agreed it was best to euthanize him while he still had a smidgen of quality of life.

      I do hope things improve for your cat. It’s so hard to let go.

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  10. Love the hair and the fun color. I am sorry to hear about your mom’s fall. It sounds like she is in the best place right now. We are in the same situation with my MIL. She has been at her assisted Living Center for a few years. She has started falling there as well. It is such a scary time for everyone. I hope poor junior is feeling better soon. He is such a precious boy.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I’m so sorry the notification for this post got buried in my e-mail, and I’m just seeing it now. I can see where you hair color is a fun pick-me-up. I looks great.
    I’m so sorry about your mom. My mom had falls, too. Fortunately, no broken bones. I’m glad your mom seems comfortable where she is, and I hope she has an easy recovery.

    As for poor Junior, I hope he’s OK. And I totally get the separation anxiety. 💙

    Liked by 2 people