Here is the 44th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. When driving in heavy rain, do not think it’s a good time to tap into your inner child and race your car through flooded areas of the road. If you do, at best you’ll just irritate the drivers around you who will be splashed in your wake. At worst, your car will stall at the next intersection where you find out that the “water” you were racing through is really the effluent from a broken sewer main.
9. When driving in heavy rain, do not forget to turn on your headlights so your car will be seen by other vehicles. If you do, at best you may just have a couple of near-misses as cars turn abruptly in front of you because they didn’t see your dark gray car approach the intersection through the gray sheet of rain. At worst, you may wind up wishing your car had been a neon pink color instead of dark gray after you get the bill for the fender-bender you caused.
8. When driving in heavy rain, do not think that you can safely drive the speed you drive in good weather. If you do, at best, the drag from the inches of standing water on the road will slow you down anyway. At worst, you might suddenly find yourself hydroplaning and, even more unfortunately, headed straight for the broken sewer main.
7. When driving in a snowstorm, do not think that you can save time by having the ice on your windshield defrost while you are driving. At best, everyone else will have stayed home and you’ll have the road to yourself and thereby avoid crashing into anyone. At worst, your insurance company won’t buy your story that the two small holes you scraped from your windshield should have been enough for you to avoid hitting the tractor-trailer when you passed into its lane.
6. When driving in a snowstorm, do not think your fellow commuters will find it amusing if you put a sleigh and reindeer antlers on the roof of your car and honk at everyone to let you through because you are Santa Claus. If you do, at best, the other motorists will let you through because they think you’re crazy and want to get as far away from you as possible. At worst, the other motorists will let you through straight to a highway patrol car waiting just for you.
5. When driving in a snowstorm, do not think your passengers will find it funny if you pretend to have snow blindness. At best, your passengers will help you to pull the car over so one of them will take over the driving (which was your intent anyway but you knew they wouldn’t do it if you just asked). At worst, your passengers will help you to pull the car over, but then leave you stranded on the shoulder because they knew you were faking.
4. When driving in a sudden hail storm, do not think it would be a good idea to suddenly pull over and collect the hail because you’ve never seen it before. If you do, at best, you’ll just have some motorists honk at you while you pack a few hail stones into your lunch bag. At worst, you’ll have a hard time convincing your boss that you’re late for work because when you stopped to collect hailstones, you got knock out cold by a big one and that is why you are acting drunk at noon.
3. When driving in a sudden hail storm, do not think it is a good time to pull out your golf club and trying some putting, no matter how obsessed with golf you are. At best, you’ll get the usual honks and rubbernecking from other motorists who are trying to figure out why you’re on the shoulder of the road swinging a golf club. At worst, see #4.
2. When driving during a heavy weather warning, do not think this is a good time to reenact a scene from your favorite Storm Chasers episode. At best, the storm cell never materializes and you simply waste a tank of gas looking for it. At worst, you wake up in another state but without ruby slippers.
1. When driving during a hurricane, … oh, please, just don’t!