Here is the 45th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. When you have allergies, do not offer to house sit for friends with animals. If you do, at best your sneezing will only cause the animals to hide from you. At worst, you may find yourself in the ER on a respirator trying to remember if you left the front door open.
9. When you have allergies, do not accept an offer to go for a nice ride in the country. If you do, at best your nice ride will turn into a sneezing nightmare. At worst, your companion will leave you beside the road with your address written on a note pinned to your shirt.
8. When you have allergies, do not eat anything out unless you know the ingredients. If you do, at best you may have to go home early to get some medicine. At worst, you might cause those around you to panic and call EMS as your face begins to swell and turn purple.
7. When you have allergies, do not volunteer to drive the hay wagon at the school fundraiser. If you do, at best you will be the source of too many “bless you’s.” At worst, your sneezing will cause the horses to spook allowing for a runaway wagon and terrified children and adults.
6. When you have allergies, do not leave home without a spare handkerchief or tissues. If you do, at best you will need to use anything at hand to cover a sneezing fit. At worst, there will be nothing at hand but your hands and you will cause everyone near you to run away in fear as if you have the bubonic plague.
5. When you have allergies, do not think those who do not have allergies will understand your symptoms. If you do, at best you may get some concerned looks when the sneezing hits. At worst, you might find yourself having to pay for the services of the EMS team called by a well-meaning person.
4. When you have allergies, do not leave your medicine at home even for a short time. If you do, at best you will get by without any symptoms. At worst, you will find yourself curled in the fetal position praying to be spared another violent sneezing attack.
3. When you have allergies, do not think you can go on a picnic in the woods. If you do, at best you will survive with only occasional sneezing bouts. At worst, you will be stung by some strange insect and find yourself slowly losing the ability to raise your arms to get your epi-pen.
2. When you have allergies, do not offer to deliver the flowers on special holidays no matter how heavily medicated. If you do, at best you could have a reaction to an unknown flower and find yourself sneezing all the way to delivery. At worst, by the time you make the delivery, your sneezing will have caused all the blooms to fly off and only the stems will remain of the bouquet.
1. When you have allergies and are heavily medicated, do not operate heavy machinery. If you do, at best you may embarrass yourself by being too doped up to figure out how to turn on the machinery. At worst, you may just take down one wall too many and have a boss who expects you to pay for the damage.