I always like to save the best (or good) for last hence my list is in reverse order.
The Ugly (1 thing)
Shortly after my mother died, my brother–my last remaining sibling–cut ties with me. His choice. In fact, his last words to me were “We’re done here. Don’t bother to contact me for anything further.”
Before my sister Shirley’s death, I had not spoken to or seen my brother in roughly ten years. I admit that I didn’t make an effort to see him when I visited home, nor did he make an effort to see me. After our sisters died, we started communicating, mainly about our mother since he was now her primary caretaker. We talked or texted daily after she fell and was in hospital and then after she died. He seemed to want my opinion about things. There were moments when I thought we might have a normal brother-sister relationship again.
Silly me.
All I needed to do to piss him off was question how he was (or was not) executing our mother’s will.
The Bad (1 thing)
The bad was learning a lesson the hard way. When someone tells you, “it’s not about the money,” you can be sure that it’s always about the money.
The Good (3 things)
- My mother is at peace. I remind myself of this as often as I can because I feel selfish in my sadness that she’s no longer with us. I hadn’t been with her at Christmas for many years, but I always looked forward to calling her. The reality of not calling her this year, and of not sending her the wreath I would normally send, hit hard. I took myself offline so I wouldn’t have to pretend to be jolly. But now that Christmas has past, I feel a bit stronger, more able to embrace the fact that my mother is at peace.
- I am at peace with my mother. She had made certain stipulations in her will that were not being honored by her will’s executor. So I made it right in my own way. I honored her wishes and, in that way, eased some of my grief.
- We have a butterfly nursery. In early December, when nighttime temperatures threatened to dip into the low 30s, my husband brought in a couple of passionvine stems that had a couple of larvae (caterpillars) on them. He wanted to try and save them. Little did he know that there were also eggs on those stems. Over the next few weeks, I counted at least 20 chrysalis in our little tent nursery. The first emergence of a Zebra Longwing butterfly seemed like a miracle. And then two emerged. And then three. We’ve released seven to our backyard, near their favorite plants. And now we’re waiting. Either we’ll have more butterflies emerge or the remaining chrysalis will die. We do our part; Nature does the rest.
Here’s goodbye to 2023. Hello, 2024! I hope the New Year brings you as much peace and contentment as brushing Raji brings to him.
Marie at 1 Write Way 