Black hair spills to the floor
Skin alabaster, lips azure
A raven pecks at the windowpane
I weep, tear my clothes
Doctors shake their heads
Oh, my Lenore
You promised us evermore
I lie beside her
Hot breath against cold cheek
Take her icy hand from her breast
Feel her fingers twitch, then grip mine
***
Happy Halloween, everyone! Hope you all get more treats than tricks. Here’s one treat for you. Yup, one gratuitous cat photo coming up!
On this Sunday I should (god I hate that word) be working on my novel. Instead I’m thinking.
You know the word “notions.” It could mean ideas, it could mean “small lightweight items for household use, such as needles, buttons, and thread.” The latter definition is my favorite, of course.
Which leads me to think about the lap blanket I’m knitting for my mother. It’s perhaps 80% done, but it’s a complicated pattern. I’ve had to “frog” (knitter’s term for ripping out and starting over) several times because of mistakes made while trying to simultaneously knit and watch TV. In fact, there’s still a mistake near the beginning of the blanket. The perfectionist in me would normally just start completely over, but … My mom celebrated her 96th birthday on October 25. I feel like I’m running out of time.
In truth, I am running out of time because she’ll be heading to South Florida soon, where the blanket will be unwanted, unneeded, and too bulky to pack up and take back with her to New York. Then again … maybe I should plan to send it in time for her return to NY in the spring. I could even start over and make sure I don’t make the same mistakes again … or NOT! This will be my last lap blanket.
I’m also thinking about an interesting response to one of my essays on Medium. “The Kindness of Strangers” is a revised essay I had posted here on 1WriteWay a couple of years ago. While I appreciate anyone taking the time to closely read my work, I was perplexed by this reader’s comments. He offered suggestions on how to turn my “good” article into a “great” article. Now, I’m not so thin-skinned that I can’t take good constructive criticism. He lost me, though, with his first suggestion.
He said I should have tied in a reference to Blanche DuBois or A Streetcar Named Desire because of my title, The Kindness of Strangers. Never mind that I wasn’t writing about having to rely on the kindness of strangers. Worst case scenario my husband would have busted open one of the car windows. My essay was more about there being Good Samaritans in the world, and we happened to meet a few of them on this particular adventure of ours.
It went downhill from there. Frankly, I couldn’t understand his other suggestions so I decided it would be better if I ignored his advice. I did respond to him with a “thank you” and “I’ll think about it,” and I hope that will be the end of it. I understand that publishing on Medium is like publishing anywhere else. I want to put my best writing forward, and I want readers to read and respond. Unsolicited advice from this stranger, however, was not kind.
I’ve also been thinking about LinkedIn. I had an account with LinkedIn on and off for several years. Currently I’m sans account. I deleted it because I was tired of fending off requests to “join my network” from people I didn’t know, would never meet, and had nothing in common with except our employer. (My agency has over 11,000 employees so working for the same agency doesn’t mean we’re going to know (or want to know) each other.)
Can you block people on LinkedIn? Blocking is the one social media tool I can embrace wholeheartedly. I block scores of people on Twitter because, you know, life is short (except in my mother’s case) and I don’t want to waste what little time I have left by endlessly scrolling past tweets I don’t care to read.
Okay, say you all tell me that I can block people on LinkedIn. Then my next question is, what do writers get out of being on LinkedIn? I get the whole marketing thing if I’m looking for a job in my current field, but other than another way to consort with my writer friends, what’s the point? If you have a LinkedIn account, please tell me in the comments what you like about it and what you don’t. I haven’t made up my mind yet. I’m just tempted because I can always use another distraction from my novel.
Here’s a gratuitous cat photo for your troubles.
Well, I can’t quit just yet. For those who read my post last week (click here if you need a refresher), let me assure you that all is now well in the Bailey & Brown household. Still, it was a rough week. Now, here are the reasons why I have to keep my day job (for now).
Reason #1: Wendy
Reason #2: Maxine
Reason #3: Junior
A week ago Thursday, Wendy got the ball rolling with a diagnosis of bladder stones. She hadn’t been showing any symptoms of blockage or pain. No, she was just in for her annual physical when the results her urinalysis suggested something was amiss. We left with a case of prescription cat food and a long waiting period for the stones to (hopefully) dissolve on their own.
The following Friday, Wendy decided she didn’t like the new food and went on strike. She refused to eat anything. Given that she was overweight, we figured she could fast for awhile and eventually get hungry enough to start eating again. By Sunday, not only did she continue to refuse any food, but it was obvious that the smell of cat food nauseated her.
That refusal resulted in a trip to to the vet on Monday afternoon. Our mistake was in giving her the prescription food right away and not transitioning her by mixing a bit with her regular food over time. Over the weekend she had lost two pounds.
A crash diet is not good for people or animals, so my husband brought home an assortment of prescription foods (dry and wet) for tummy troubles along with a few doses of Cerenia, anti-nausea medication. Wendy took to the dry food right away, but still turned away from wet food, even her old favorites. In desperation, I bought an assortment of “gourmet” cat foods that came in pouches: shredded chicken in broth; chicken and tuna bisque.
While all this was going on with Wendy, by that same Sunday, Maxine and Junior also decided to go on a hunger strike.
Thank goodness my husband is retired and could keep an eye on the kids. Even though Wendy had gone off her food two days before the other two, we suspected there was some common reason all three were now off it.
That week the heat index in Tallahassee was well into the three digits with high humidity. Up until Monday evening, the kids had free access to the back porch during the day. We had been marveling at how all three couldn’t wait to go out onto the porch only to drape themselves on the chairs and table like Dali’s kitties. When my husband ushered them in for a break late Monday afternoon, he noticed that Maxine was wobbly, like she was drunk.
He promptly locked the cat door to the porch. No salir!
Our cats love heat. They’re southern kitties and when temps dip below 90 degrees, they act like the ice age is settling in, burrowing into blankets and seeking out our body heat.
But, in hindsight, the heat this weekend was way past the boundaries of what they should be exposed to. So my husband kept them in, and they didn’t complain. Maxine found a nice box to curl up in, Wendy decided to settle in on my bed, and Junior played sentry on a desk in our living room.
Still, they didn’t eat anything but the dry food and only nibbles at that. Wendy, though, was getting better. After a couple of days on Cerenia, she started to eat her dry food with gusto. A call to the vet, and by Thursday evening, all three were taking Cerenia.
At this point in my writing (Sunday afternoon), they are finally back to eating wet food. We’re being cautious though, trying small portions of different over-the-counter varieties. Today, for the first time, I mixed a little of prescription food in with some Fancy Feast Gourmet Naturals beef pate and crossed my fingers.
They licked their bowls clean. Can you say “Hallelujah”? (And I don’t mean “Hello Julia“!)
Well, just this week:
Not on this list is the teeth cleaning (and removal) that Maxine had last month, and the removal of Junior’s last few remaining teeth earlier this year.
Am I complaining? Nope.
Times like this we are reminded not to take our furred babies for granted. I never felt so much joy as when they gobbled down their wet food today.
This week my husband and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. We had plans to go out of town for a couple of days, to enjoy a getaway in a favorite place, to bike a favorite trail, and to eat out at a favorite restaurant.
We canceled.
At the time we decided to cancel, the kids were getting better but we were still on edge about them. We also decided, that after going through such a rough time, we just wanted to be with them.
Pray, tell me, what “sacrifices” have you made for your furred babies?
I know some people think we’re crazy, but then, we are crazy about our kids.
Still under construction. Mind that step.
Things are changing around here. Just baby steps right now, but so far I’m enjoying the process. As I’ve already written about here and here, I’m trying to give my blog a more professional appearance. At least more organized. I’ll settle for that. I’ve added a page for my publications (few though they may be) and a page for links to the book reviews I’ve written. I’ve revised my About Me page and my Contact Me page.
Whew, organizing always tires me out ;)
Some of you may be aware that I also write on Medium, a place to read and write big ideas and important stories (their words, not mine). If you’re a Medium member, or even if you’re not, you can find me there at @marieannbailey. So far writing on Medium has been an interesting experience. I’ve made some new friends and read some really interesting and well-written essays, stories, and poems. Recently, I was published in P.S. I Love You, a Medium publication: “Bonita: A Short Story.”
What’s not to like about all that?!
Well, Medium is a different experience from blogging on WordPress. Not a better experience, just different. I’ve been casting about for a way to describe how they differ when it finally hit me.
1WriteWay on WordPress is my home, mi casa, where my friends, mis compañeros, come to visit (mi casa es su casa). Likewise, through WordPress, I visit my friends’ blogs homes and hang out for awhile.
Medium is like the Barnes & Noble in my town, where sometimes I meet up with friends for coffee and to browse magazines and books. It’s like a community center where you can learn about writing or programming code (or writing programming code), photography and travel. Or listen to read ideas about politics, relationships, and sundry other topics.
Some writers use Medium as their only platform, the one place they express themselves. Medium does most of the work; the writer just needs to learn the different but limited formatting styles.
I believe in diversification, both in my finances and in my personal life.
On WordPress, we get to decorate our houses (or renovate as in my case here). We share ideas on themes, plugins, whatnots, and thingamajigs. We get to express our individuality in ways other than writing.
I was relieved when I thought of WordPress, or more specifically 1WriteWay, as my home and Medium as a community center. It fits with the introvert that I am, the homebody that I tend to be.
1WriteWay es mi casa y ustedes son mis compañeros.
In other news: my girls are driving me crazy.
Maxine has a chronic urinary infection that seems resistant to antibiotics. I’m grateful that she still has her appetite and seems no more cranky than usual for a sixteen-year-old cat with arthritis and in the early stages of kidney disease.
Wendy went in for a regular checkup and came out with a diagnosis of bladder stones. She shows no symptoms of a urinary tract infection, no crying or straining when she pees. But we saw the x-ray and it’s there. Our vets tend to be conservative so we’re starting with a special diet but today she decided to go on a hunger strike. Sigh. War of the Wills. I’m hoping she’ll give in because our only other alternative might be surgery. Double sigh.
Fortunately (as I knock on wood), Junior (our toothless one) is disease-free and just happy to hoover the girls’ food bowls when they leave bits behind.
How do you cope when your furred kids change their behavior and won’t say why?
In the past, I’ve known some writers who wrote both on WordPress and Blogspot so I’m not an anomaly. What are your thoughts on writing on different platforms?
As some of you may already know, my husband and I and our three cats survived Hurricane Hermine practically unscathed. Other than the expected power outage, we had only this heart-stopper:
A rather tall pine twisted and fell between our driveway and our neighbor’s driveway, missing our cars. As it turns out, even our fence, which helped break the tree’s fall, had minimal damage. Interestingly, an arborist my husband had recently consulted over some other trees that we want removed, predicted that this particular pine would fall exactly in the way it did. And the same arborist was able to arrange for a crew to come the next day and take down this pine, although we have to wait for the city to pick up the remains. Click on the following link below for a time-lapse of the tree removal. It took about 17 minutes, or …
Still, I’m feeling pretty lucky. We ventured out for a bit on Saturday, to get some ice since by then we had been out of power for almost 36 hours. It still makes my stomach lurch to think of the homes we saw, where trees had fallen, caving in their roofs or crushing their cars. And I know that as I write this post, in the wee hours of Monday morning, a lot of people still don’t have power.
So I’m very grateful. In particular, I’m grateful for my husband, for the common-sense survival skills he developed growing up in South Florida when hurricanes were all too common, and for the awesome cooking skills he developed during his two years in the Peace Corps. He can whip up a mean three egg and brie omelet on a little two-burner propane stove. I know that without him I would have been a basket case.
I have one confession: being off the grid was actually nice while it lasted. We read until dark and then sat in the dark, talking. And the dark was wonderful … except for the neighbor’s generator, there was a peacefulness to the darkness. For 36 hours we were untethered. When I had service, I used my cell phone only to call my mom. I started to remember how I used to entertain myself before the internet, before Facebook, before blogging. Somehow I used to keep myself pretty busy back then, knitting, sewing, and writing stories that no one would read.
But I missed all of you. I missed reading your stories, your adventures, your gripes du jour. I missed your humor and your thoughtfulness, your poetry. I missed the joy of your latest publications and the angst of your recent rejections. I missed this community that I now realize I sometimes take for granted.
So I return to the grid, but with a keener appreciation for the wealth in my world: my husband, my cats, my neighbors, my family, my friends–all those both on and off the grid.
I leave you with a sign of life returning to normal:
Hello, dear friends! What an interesting week it’s been. And exhausting given that I had the luxury of roughly two weeks of staycation. Returning to work after any length of hiatus is never easy. But, still, my year started off great and I hope yours did too. To start off, when we went to have New Year’s Day lunch with friends, I got this surprise:
Yup, this is the little man (the one being held, not the one with the beard) for whom I knitted a little hat and cardigan. (Sorry it’s not a better picture but the lighting was low.) There was much oohing and ahhing around as well as gratitude that the day was cold enough for him to be all bundled up. Although I’ve knitted a fair number of garments for babies and children, I’ve rarely seen them worn in the flesh. Usually I get photos or perhaps a thank-you note since most of my handmade gifts travel thousands of miles to their recipients. I can’t imagine a better start to the New Year than this!
Now, I said going back to work is never easy. You may recall my complaining mentioning that my office mates and I were being moved back to the building from which we came two years before. I wasn’t particularly happy about this move, especially since it was done over the holidays. Also, I had a lot of wall decals to remove since I didn’t want to get accused of “interfering with state property.” So, with this move, I had resolved to spend less time “nesting” in my new digs. I consider myself a short-timer now so there’s no need to get too cozy. Yet, I have my priorities:
I had managed to salvage these wall decals and although I’m trying to eschew nesting, I’ll take whatever lifts to my mood I can get. It makes me smile to see the kitties on my door or the silhouette on my window (and I can even see her from the outside at the street level).
I’m happy to say that by the end of this week I feel reconciled to my new office if for no other reason than … well … I’m here ;)
And I’m a roll with the book reviews! A few days ago I finished Such is Life by Jeri Walker. Some of you may already know Jeri from her website, Word Bank Writing & Editing. I actually “met” Jeri through Triberr, yet another social media site that I spent too little time on. Jeri is a freelance writer and author, with a novel in progress and a few small pieces (short stories and essays) available through Amazon.
I loved the stories in Such is Life and, while reading, frequently compared Jeri’s writing (both form and content) to that of Joyce Carol Oates (totally innocent of the fact that other readers had made the same comparison). These are dark slices of life told with a sympathy that keeps you reading even when you know the ending won’t be happy. Go on over to Amazon, read my review, and then pick up a copy of Such is Life.
Finally, I want to direct you to the blog of a friend, a young man I’ve been following for some time and whose weekly updates were often sources of inspiration and validation, as well as some good eye candy. Phillip McCollum is a wonderful writer but also a dad and husband and full-time employee at a very demanding job. So, he’s making choices, thinking hard about what direction his life might/should go in. His musings echo my own. Writing is something I still care about and want to do, but these days it just feels like it has to take a back seat. Life is short. I may be able to carve out a month of crazy writing once a year, but I don’t (yet) have the discipline and focus to put my writing first every day of the year. And that’s okay.
I have plenty of books and blogs to read, yarn to knit up, places to visit, friends to write letters to. Writing is always there in some form or other.
Until next time, I’ll be dancing in my chair …
Nothing. Yes, dear Reader, I got almost nothing for this post today. I have been fairly productive of late, but not with writing or blogging. Again, it’s the knitting.
A friend noted that the buttons on the baby sweater I knitted for a baby-to-be might not be appropriate for a baby.
Yes, they are cute cat heads but the ears are rather pointy, not too sharp against my rough old skin, but I don’t want to the buttons to be the cause of baby’s first injury. So I swap them out for these.
And, to be honest, I think these buttons are better suited. They are pretty without drawing the eye entirely away from the sweater pattern.
I hope to present the parents-to-be with the sweater and hat tonight. I’m sure they will be pleased that at least the outfit can be machine washed and dried, and yet it is wool. Merino wool, in fact, which is very soft.
Well, that’s it for now. I’m thinking (again) of changing my blogging schedule. If I aim for Fridays, then I can have all week to write and revise my posts instead of doing them half-off as I am now. We’ll see.
Oh, and what about the classes I’m taking? Well, the Modern Poetry class is a no-go for me. It’s too fragmented: too many links to follow, an audio here, a video there. Each week brings an email (or two) with several embedded links. In contrast, a class I started a long while ago (on a lark), through the same platform (Coursera) has a very simple syllabus, with all content accessible through my iPad app. The course is historical fiction and very interesting so far. I can (and have) happily watched a video lecture while knitting. I’ll say more about that class in a later post. I’m still looking forward (with eagerness and dread) to the Fiction Workshop that will be offered free through the International Writing Program. That will start on Thursday, September 24. And, no doubt, you’ll hear all about that as well.
Until then a little eye candy for all you cat lovers: my green-eyed boy Junior. Why buy a fancy cat bed when an old basket and a couple of magazines make him happy?
Hello, dear Reader, and you may wonder what the heck the title of my post can possibly mean. Well, I have a confession explanation. I don’t have a post to post today. I’ve spent the weekend working on a course that I’m taking with my friend and fellow blogger, Luanne. It’s an online creative nonfiction course, only 4 weeks long but chocked full of readings. It’s focused on the “flash essay,” a nonfiction work of 500-750 words. Yes, I know. A few months ago it was poetry and now I’m trying another genre. Am I procrastinating? Damn right I am but at least I’m learning something in the process.
I’m also thinking about changing my blogging schedule to Wednesdays or maybe Fridays. I have less time during the work week to spend on my blog and other social media. So stay tuned if you will and I’ll sort things out eventually.
In the meantime, here’s a gratuitous cat photo, that of Wendy, our rescue from … well, Wendy’s. This is her favorite spot on our back porch. We recently purchased new patio furniture but knew we would have to keep this old chair for Wendy.
See y’all next week :)
Since Thursday I’ve been battling a cold … or something. Not sure what I’ve got, and battling probably isn’t the right word since I spend the majority of my time reclined. I throw my army of aspirin, cough suppressant, and Benadryl down my throat, chased by a liter of orange juice or Gatorade, and hope for the best while the rest of me dozes, coughs, and sniffles.
Usually I don’t let a silly old cold get me down, but this one has come along with a fever. Although the fever has gone down, it’s tenaciously hanging around. Before anyone starts shipping chicken soup to me, I will seek medical advice on Monday if matters remain the same. Weakness is my current nemesis and just typing this brief post makes me want to curl up on my bed with my five odd pillows cushioning my aching body.
I made a pathetic effort at virtual socializing, and decided it’s best to just let you all know:
I. Am. Sick.
And for that reason, too, comments are closed. Here’s a gratuitous kitty movie to take the edge off my otherwise sour mood. This is an oldie but goodie. My cat Mikey (RIP) rolling around on pebbles warmed by the sun, one of his few pleasure near the end of his life.
If you recall, last week I posted a story, or rather, memoir, of a young woman wondering whether to send a letter. If you missed it, you can read it here. I’ll wait.
Twenty-five years ago, on August 21, the letter writer and the presumed letter recipient married in a small town in California. (more…)
