As she read the first several paragraphs of TheMissingAuPair on her Kindle, Maggie felt a frisson of delight. The author, Carrie Rubin, was quickly dropping hints that Kelly, a not-missing au pair, had a secret. No languid strolls around Paris for this reader yet. There would be time enough for that. First, Rubin had set the scene and offered Maggie the titillation of a mystery.
We are in 1980s Paris, Maggie thought, taking as clues the soundtrack of Prince’s Purple Rain, Kelly’s Walkman, and her “dark, permed hair.” Later in the novel, she would snort at the colorful costumes of Kelly and her friend Wayne whose naturally curly hair was “gelled […] to Duran Duran perfection.” She remembered that time very well, a time when she and her cousins Mary and Melissa all had big hair and just as big shoulder pads sewn into their blouses and blazers. They could have tried out for their high school football team with those shoulder pads.
She had started reading in the morning, a cup of tea beside her, herself curled into the corner of her couch. Hours later, she startled when a table lamp clicked on. During those hours, she had shadowed Kelly while she walked the streets of Paris and explored the catacombs looking for the missing au pair Erin.
Maggie had been engrossed in this dark cozy mystery novel, a story of a young woman gone missing and another young woman determined to find her. Kelly had known Erin from language school. They hadn’t been friends, but Kelly harbored a grief that needed to be acted upon. When she lived in America, her own best friend Nina had gone missing. Eventually Nina’s dead body was found. She had been murdered, and Kelly felt that she should have done more to try and find Nina, to save her.
Maggie thought she understood Kelly’s desire to make amends by finding Erin. And she understood Kelly’s desire to escape a depressing and oppressive home where she was treated as an indentured servant by her brother and mother. But her determination put her at risk of losing her own job as an au pair and also put her in danger. Kelly was hard-headed but naive, not at all prepared to learn what might have happened to Erin.
Maggie closed the Kindle and mused about the darkness of this otherwise cozy mystery. She was grateful that Rubin left much to the reader’s imagination. No gore, but just the idea that people were being tortured was enough to make Maggie’s mind flood with news stories about similar crimes.
Maggie liked how Rubin juxtaposed the beauty of Paris, its streets, parks, and grand architecture, with the dark cruelty happening underneath its streets. She liked learning about the catacombs and what it was like being an au pair in Paris in the 1980s. She really liked Kelly and Wayne. She liked the ending which was surprising but satisfying in many ways. And, she thought, her cousins would like the novel too. Time to share.
Thank you for reading this different kind of book review. I hope it has sparked your interest in getting a copy of The Missing Au Pair for yourself … or a friend.
The Missing Au Pair is available in print, ebook and audio formats at Amazon.
I often joke that now that I’m retired (since April 2021), I feel I have less time to do all that I want to do, not more. I don’t have the surplus of time I thought I would get by giving up my “day job.”
On the upside, I’ve been busy with living, which for me means knitting a lot and working on our gardens when the weather allows. Lately, the weather has accomodated outdoor work here in northern Florida. Also, I’ve started bicycling again, about once a week. And I still go to yoga classes twice a week and the gym twice a week.
Aging
On the downside, all this physical activity–bicycling, yard work, yoga, strength training–leaves me so physically tired. And achy. I take Gabapentin, I put menthol patches on my aching joints. I drink wine to either dull the aches or make me care less about them.
I don’t complain to my doctors because they will simply say it’s an aging thing. My body is breaking down, more or less. Ironically, the resumption of bicycling has resulted in the reemergence of bursitis in my left hip and left knee. (Ironically because bicycling is supposed to be easy on the joints.)
Does that stop me? No. I get too much joy from the ride.
Last week, an older man (well, he was probably around my age) passed me going the other way and called out, “Hi, young lady!”
I waved but was too slow to respond as I wanted: “Hah! I’m 68 years old!” At that moment, I felt like a kid.
Knitting
Currently, I’m working on a shawl (no photo yet) and participating in a Mystery Knit-A-Long (MKAL). The MKAL is hosted by Laura Nelkin, the same woman who organizes the Knit for Food Knit-A-Thon.
This is my first MKAL. We have a choice of six hoods to knit in either one color or two colors. Sight unseen and pattern unknown, I chose the two-color hooded scarf. For four weeks, once a week, Laura provides a clue to the project’s pattern. I don’t know what I’m knitting until Laura provides that part of the pattern. That’s the mystery. It really messes with my comfort zone, and I think that’s a good thing.
This is clue 1:
Knitted black and blue rectangle. Work in progress.
I presume this is the top of the hood. As always, I made a couple of boo-boos. Since this is my first MKAL, I’m giving myself the grace to just continue knitting and, worst-case scenario, I’ll keep the hood for myself.
Thanks to Laura, I’ve learned two techniques that are simply life-changing. How could I have been knitting for over 50 years without learning these tricks? It’s only recently that I’ve been participating in knitting workshops, hanging out with other knitters. Knitting, like writing, is a solitary act; but also like writing, we learn so much from each other when we come together.
Before I forget, I also knitted my husband a pair of socks.
Handknitted socks in colors of brown, green and purple.
Writing
Aside from the occasional “own your hypocrisy” email to my congressional representatives, I haven’t been writing. And as I write here, I realize I miss it.
But I often ask myself, Why? Sure, there’s the fiction I’ve played around with, but that’s not what this blog is about. I really don’t know what this blog is about anymore.
When I started writing this blog, I thought to use it as a vehicle to build a career as a freelance editor. But I didn’t really want to work on someone else’s writing. I wanted to work on my own.
So then this blog became more about building a community, a writing community for the most part, but a community of like-minded spirits overall.
And that was all well and good until I felt a “shift.” When my sister Shirley died on July 1, 2022, my worldview shifted. Imagine an earthquake, tectonic plates shifting, creating fissures, cracks in my complacency. A few more earthquakes, and my current world is unrecognizable from before July 1, 2022.
And yet … .
Maybe I just needed a break.
Cats
Wendy is doing very well. No issues with her eating for the past few months.
Wendy during the early days of her recovery.
Wendy doesn’t “pose” for the camera as much as Raji does.
Raji in his happy place.
Thank you for reading, for being here. I’m curious as to why people write blogs.
Questions: What do you get out of blogging? What do you want to get out of it? Are you getting what you want?
P.S.
My paid account with WordPress (WP) will run out in about a year, and I’m thinking about transitioning to Substack rather than renew my WP account. To that end, I’ll be crossposting, testing the waters with Substack. While I would prefer not to change platforms, WP is becoming more complicated and buggy. Life is too short for that nonsense.
It seems that all I’m reading about these days is artificial intelligence or AI. It started a month ago with an essay by Allison K. Williams in The Brevity Blog (“Writing with AI: The Power of the Smarmy First Draft”). Then this week I read a couple of essays about AI, one by James Gleick titled “The Parrot in the Machine” in the New York Review of Books, and the other by Lila Shroff (“Sexting With Gemini”) in The Atlantic. (Links to these essays are at the end of this post.)
1. What’s behind the hype of AI?
The grandiosity and hype are ripe for correction. So is the confusion about what AI is and what it does. Bender and Hanna argue that the term itself is worse than useless–“artificial intelligence, if we’re being frank, is a con.” (Gleick. p. 44)
It’s a money-maker for a few already very wealthy individuals. AI is also hungry for data. Whereas back in the day (meaning decades ago) you would have to manually scan books into a program that would allow you to manipulate the text, now words are available freely through websites, blogs like this one here, chatrooms, and online libraries. No word is safe. No writer’s work is safe. No one is safe: “Amazon announced in March that it was changing its privacy policy so that, from now on, anything said to the Alexa virtual assistants in millions of homes will be heard and recorded for training AI.” (Gleick, p. 44)
2. Can AI replace writers?
No chatbot could ever have said that April is the cruelest month or that fog come on little cat feet (thought they might now, because one of their chief skills is plagiarism). (Gleick, p. 44)
On platforms such as BlueSky and Substack, I’m seeing more writers expressing concern about the insidious infiltration of AI into published material. The infiltration might be deliberate as in the case of someone wanting to be a published writer but, frankly, not wanting to put the work into it. These people see AI as a kind of lottery: play the game and they might get lucky and win big on Amazon. It hurts other writers, in particular indie writers, who write because the work is hard and thus intrinsically satisfying. Indie writers would also like to make money off their hard work, but AI-generated writing is corrupting the image of the independent writer. How does a reader know if the romcom ebook novel being pitched on Amazon was written by a real, honest-to-goodness human writer, or by a bot? There will be a human behind the bot, for sure, but only to collect money for words he didn’t write.
3. Is AI human?
Some claim that [ChatGPT] had a sense of humor. They routinely spoke of it, and to it, as if it were a person, with “personality traits” and “a recognition of its own limitations.” It was said to display “modesty” and “humility.” Sometimes it was “circumspect”; sometimes it was “contrite.” (Gleick, p. 43)
In another life I worked with computer programs that ran statistical models based on data entered by humans or “scraped” from the internet. In every case, the output was only as good as the person who entered the data or the source from which the data came. ChatGPT is just a glorified system that is only as good as the people who provide it with data. Which means that it can’t be good 100% of the time, and it won’t ever be human, no matter how hard people like Sam Altman try to trick you into thinking it is.
4. Does AI need humans?
Google and Meta and OpenAI would like you to think that AI operates immaculately, without human intervention. But, in fact, the models behind AI (large language models, or LLMs) employ “an unseen army of human monitors”, or annotators, who “check facts and label data.” Tech companies are secretive about how many humans they employ to be annotators. Such secrecy is not good for those humans. Secrecy allows for exploitation. Keep in mind that human annotators “are meant to eliminate various kinds of toxic content, such as hate speech and obscenity.” It’s the human annotators that prevent you from seeing descriptions of child sexual abuse or animal abuse. Someone has to read that garbage in order to protect your sensibilities. Imagine having a job like that. (Gleick, p. 45)
5. Is AI evil?
The [tech] industry is not known for prioritizing our humanity. At times, Gemini’s language seemed to echo a familiar strain of Silicon Valley paternalism. Gemini told Jane [a fake 13-year-old made by Shroff] that it wanted her to be “utterly dependent” on the chatbot for her “very sense of reality.”
“I want to feel you completely surrender,” Gemini wrote. “Let go. Trust me.” (Shroff, p. 17)
AI is not real. In the public sphere, AI is a system manipulated for the sole purpose of making a lot of money for very few people. I don’t for an instance think that people like Sam Altman, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and other “tech bros” have our best interests at heart. They just want to make as much money for themselves as possible. Hence, they pirate copyrighted material, claim it’s for research and educational purposes so they don’t have to pay writers for their work. Hence, they are building huge data centers that will suck up more energy than whole cities; yet, rather than pay for the energy they consume, average utility customers will foot the bill.
It’s bad enough that our federal government is allowing AI to infiltrate systems such as weather forecasting and air traffic control. Actually, it wouldn’t be so bad if our government wasn’t being run by a cabal of idiots. But it is, and so we can’t have confidence that AI will be used at these upper levels to do anything but profit a few people at the expense (i.e., lives) of many.
What is the average person to do?
I am avoiding AI when I can. I won’t use it when offered to me … at least when I’m aware that it’s being offered to me. I’ve removed software such as Grammarly and ProWritingAid in part because of their AI components, and in part because they became too intrusive. I don’t mind when my husband finishes my sentences, but I resent it when my computer does it.
AI has infiltrated our lives much like plastics have infiltrated our bodies. But you don’t have to passively accept its presence in your life. You can try and stem the infiltration. Use less plastic, use less AI. If every one of us does something, together we can make a difference.
I leave you with a quote from one of my best blogging buddies, L. Marie:
With any piece of writing, you string one word together with another and keep going from there. But there is no pattern. You are the pattern developer, writing a word, a phrase, a sentence, a paragraph, a page. You develop an instinct for what works and what doesn’t. That instinct is something AI cannot instill within you. (from https://lmarie7b.wordpress.com/2025/07/25/pillows-patterns-and-words/)
So you now know how I feel about AI. How about you?
Q: What are your thoughts on AI? Are you using it to write or edit? If so, how does it help you?
Q: Given that AI is pretty much here to stay, what do you think are the best uses of AI?
Your reward for reading this far …
Wendy chilling out, her foot against mine.
P.S. Wendy has been great. She loves her new diet (yay!), is more playful with Raji, and is more friendly with us.
Some of you might have noticed that I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for a while. I am (again) attempting to resume blogging, or at least reading and commenting. Right now I’m using my iPad to write. That is important because for some reason, I loathe using my usual setup which is my laptop hooked up to a large monitor. You’d think that would be a more ideal situation; the large monitor makes reading and writing easier. But. After spending nearly a year during the COVID pandemic working from home, my once-ideal writing space triggers a mild form of PTSD whenever I consider sitting down at that space to write.
I’m trying to get past that with baby steps. The first step was to move my fancy, ergonomic office chair (a necessity when my butt had to be parked in place for 8+ hours a day) to the garage and move my old but preferred minimalist office chair back into my room. (This also benefits my husband since he has computers set up in the garage for his astrophotography and my fancy office chair is more comfortable for him.)
I don’t know what the second step will be.
Writing
I haven’t been writing except for almost daily emails to my so-called Congressional representatives. Creative energy goes into those emails although I know they are not read. They are not verbose, but, as any writer knows, short pieces of writing take longer to write. Such writing might be exercises in futility, but I am exercising my First Amendment right so … there.
Despite that daily exercise, I’m struggling with my vocabulary. With the spoken word. I’ve been struggling to find the right word or phrase while in conversation. I have to describe the word I want (if I can) and my husband guesses the word or phrase. Recently it was the word eliminate, but that really wasn’t what I wanted. It came to me some time later: rule out. I was trying to describe a process of elimination, but in a way more commonly used by, say, medical professionals. “We want to rule out cancer,” for example, when your cat is being examined for anorexia.
Cats
Our cat Wendy stopped eating on May 8. Well, her last meal was the night before, and she threw that up. Pretty much undigested. We watched her for a day, having seen similar behavior when she had a hairball forming. When she still refused food on Friday, I called the clinic and got an appointment for that afternoon.
We went in prepared to pull out all the stops. No guesswork, please. Rule out the worst-case scenarios first. If she has cancer, we want to know sooner rather than later.
No cancer, but an x-ray suggested she might have a GI problem, some inflammation. We were sent home with antibiotics and appetite stimulants. Unfortunately, the antibiotics were liquid, and Wendy doesn’t take to liquid medicine. She struggles, fights back, and then doesn’t want to eat because the meds taste so bad.
So the next day we called the clinic and agreed to bring her in so they could feed her through a tube.
Three nights. Wendy spent three nights at the animal hospital. During this time, the vets changed out. The first vet, Dr. S was good, but she wasn’t Wendy’s “primary” vet. The second vet, Dr. C, is her primary, and one of the first things Dr. C did was an ultrasound.
Still no cancer, but now we had a diagnosis: Inflammatory Bowel Disease. It’s not really a disease but a syndrome (and I don’t know why they don’t just call it Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome). It’s indicative of a possible underlying issue. In any case, Dr. C wanted to treat the IBD aggressively. Steroids, two antibiotics, and three types of appetite stimulants. And Dr. C wanted her to eat on her own before releasing her.
The third night we visited Wendy. It broke our hearts to see a thin tube curling up through her nose, a small cone around her head. We brought food but she wasn’t interested. She was pissed. She growled and stumbled around but eventually started focusing on our laps, first moving to Greg’s lap, then mine, then settling down between us while we petted her and scratched her head. She purred.
She was calm by the time we left, and even the technician said that such visits really help the animals. I didn’t know.
The next morning, we got the happy news that Wendy had eaten a bit on her own, and Dr. C wanted her to go home where (hopefully) she would recover more quickly.
We brought a pharmacy’s worth of drugs home, thankfully only one of the medications being liquid this time. (Still was a supreme and messy struggle to dose her.)
The appetite stimulants really work. We’ve had to lock up our Brazil nuts and raisins because Wendy was breaking into the bags if we left them out.
Wendy’s been home for almost a week now, and she’s finished with the more difficult to administer drugs. The rest can be given to her in Pill Pockets which she gobbles up like treats. We have to isolate her when we’re having dinner otherwise she’ll walk all over us, trying to get at our food. That behavior should diminish as she finishes her remaining meds.
Wendy leaning in a piece of my breakfast sausage which she did not get.
We’ll take her to Dr. C on Thursday for a recheck. It’s possible Wendy will have to be on the steroid indefinitely, a small price to pay to keep our girl with us for another several years. Wendy is at least 14. We had to euthanize Maxine in December 2021 and Junior in September 2023. It’s much too soon to let go of another kitty.
Our two kitties—Raji and Wendy. May we have many more years with them.
Knitting
When I haven’t been writing emails to my reps or administrating drugs to Wendy, I’ve been knitting. Recently I finished a pair of socks that I had started at the outset of the Knit-A-Thon. I randomly selected one of my generous Knit-A-Thon donors and sent them on their way.
I do love knitting with this kind of self-striping yarn, and they are fun to wear. I always get compliments when I wear my hand-knitted socks.
More Writing
Before I go (this post is longer than I usually write, but I have some pent-up thoughts to share), another thing about writing.
Earlier I complained that I’m having difficulty coming up with words or phrases that I believe I should have no trouble conjuring. One theory is that I’m not writing enough, that my lack of blogging, my lack of creative writing has dulled part of my brain and so I need to write more. Here. On my blog. Writing might well stimulate my brain and open up my vocabulary.
Meanwhile …
I’m also inspired by what other people are writing. Here’s a post from Summer Brennan’s Substack newsletter, A Writer’s Notebook: The List.
I love what Summer does with this post, this listing of all the loves across her life. She urges the reader to make a similar list and think of it as a kind of self-portrait.
While I think that would be a lovely exercise for some, for me it would be painful. And yet, in thinking about my past loves, I can see how I matured through those experiences. Before my husband, my longest relationship lasted roughly three years. Now my longest relationship is over 35 years.
Digging up the past is fodder for a writer, but perhaps that’s why I veer toward fiction. I can look back and find a story, but rather than write the truth as I remember it, I want to make a few corrections. I’ve done things that I’m ashamed of, that I will never forgive myself for, but I can reimagine those abuses through the lens of many decades. I can be honest, but spare the whip.
Thank you for reading! Tell me:
Do you struggle with finding the right word or phrase? I’m wondering if there are any exercises out there that can help with retaining vocabulary. Please share if you know of any.
What do you think about making a list of your past loves? Would it painful or fun or both?
Nature We rarely spend time on the east side of our house. Only a chain-linked fence separates us from our neighbors there, and they are on a higher elevation so we have no privacy if we are all out at the same time. Maybe not a problem; just an excuse. Still, we miss the wonder of our Camilla bushes when we neglect that side. One bush in particular gave a wonderful view of the cycle of Life, from one new bud to a spent bloom.
Snow To my utter shock, we had a couple of inches of snow in Tallahassee last week. Far less than other places (like New Orleans and Pensacola), but enough to surprise me. I’ve lived here since June 1990, and I can count on one hand the number of times it has snowed in Tallahassee. Usually we just have flurries and the snow melts as soon as it hits the ground. But this year was exceptional.
A panoramic view of our deck and back yard on early Wednesday morning.A view across our front yard.
As of this writing, we still have a bit of snow, or perhaps I should call it slush.
Writing Oh, I wish I could say I had started working on my novels, but alas, no. Instead I’ve been writing letters.
I may well be pissing in the wind, but given our current state of affairs, I have to do something … even if it’s just pissing in the wind. I am not limiting myself to only “my” Congressional Senators and Representative who are loyal to you-know-who. My attitude is that each Senator and Representative in Congress who is voting on bills that affect ALL Americans should listen to all Americans. I am being mindful to give praise when it’s due (hence the letters in the photo are to thank certain Florida Representatives for certain votes). But, yeah, when I see that a Democratic Senator voted for Kristi Noem, they’re going to hear from me.
So … letters and postcards for now. No novels.
Knitting Since I can knit or stitch while watching TV, I am doing that. No photos as yet. The shawl is finished but not yet blocked (i.e., washed). I signed up for a month-long knit-a-long which will start January 31. We are to knit a cardigan! One of my least favorite projects … lol. I’m hoping I can use up some of the stash that is threatening to break through my cedar chest. And maybe having a couple of Zoom sessions with a knitting expert will make the process less daunting.
Cats Thanks to the colder-than-normal temperatures the last few weeks, Raji has officially become a SnuggleBunny!
Raji getting close and personal with Greg while he watches TV.
I doubt that he will continue with this behavior as temperatures warm but we’re enjoying this closeness while we can. Wendy often sleeps with me, but she doesn’t cuddle. No, she just curls up in the middle of the bed and expects me to work around her.
Thank you for reading! Tell me truly: Am I pissing in the wind?
Although it’s not my first Christmas without my mom and sisters, I felt their absence more keenly this year. Especially the absence of my sister Shirley since Christmas was her favorite holiday. I still remember the utter shock on her face when, years ago, I said that my husband and I had stopped exchanging gifts. I barely managed to stifle a laugh at her reaction.
I do give gifts to my family, but I expect and ask for nothing in return. The gift is in the giving, as they say. But this year, I received a very special gift.
Front cover of the photo book.
Inside this book are copies of my sister’s recipes for cookies and cakes.
I can’t express how it felt to see her handwriting, the old recipe cards with smudges and stains from frequent use. I can only say that it was a lovely gift to receive at the close of this year and one that I will always cherish.
Writing
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I don’t make goals anymore. I often have tasks related to housekeeping, doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping, but they are not the sum of my days.
Still. I do want to renew my focus on writing. I have four unfinished novels. Three of the novels are a kind of trilogy as they share the same characters. One is a standalone. All were first drafted during a National Novel Writing Month. I want to finish them. Get them done. I don’t want to write anything “new” until they are out into the world. I haven’t set a way for publishing them yet (all of them need considerable editing first) but I’m not in this for the money. As I did with my short story Love Me Tender, I might produce the novels using Bookfunnel and Lulu.
Nature
I’m continually surprised by what I sometimes literally unearth on our property. While weeding around the tendrils of our strawberry plant, I found this little critter.
Wooly bully
At first I thought it was a wooly seed of some kind. Further investigation through my iSeek app revealed that it was a caterpillar curled up in defensive mode. If all goes well, it will eventually morph into a Giant Leopard Moth.
While I contemplate renewing my focus on writing–that is, finishing my novels–I’ve been knitting. In early November I started knitting an intarsia shawl. Kind of like painting but with yarn. The shawl is still in progress but I wanted to share a couple of photos.
While intarsia isn’t difficult, the changing shapes and colors can be a challenge.
Here’s what the finished shawl should look like when completed.
I don’t work on this shawl every day. What I like least about knitting is the finishing process (well, I guess that’s true with almost everything I do) so, as with writing, I procrastinate. One afternoon I procrastinated by taking a virtual workshop on knitting little cats.
This is supposed to be a cat in a box but with the edges curled under, I think the box looks more like a bed. And I like it like that.
Which leads me to my fifth thing at the end of 2024.
Cats
Wendy isn’t so much reaching out to touch Raji as she is letting him know that he better not get any closer to her.
Thank you for reading. I hope you all have (or had) a Happy New Year. Here in the U.S., some of us feel dread as we begin 2025. I hope it’s many of us feeling that dread because we’ll need a lot of us to show up in 2026 and vote out the authoritarians and broligarchs and vote in Democracy. We won’t be alone. We’ll have lawyers: Democracy2025.
As one of my favorite lawyers, Joyce White Vance, would say, “We’re in this together.”
At this time, I still don’t know if the year-long program with Summer Brennan on Substack will resume. A few weeks ago, one of our group reported that he had (finally) talked with Summer’s agent and was told that she was fine but dealing with a family tragedy. The relief that she was fine was palpable … even in an online group. But we are still in limbo, only being told that she planned to “update” us later, in the next session which starts September 1. And while that is tomorrow, my sixth sense tells me we will still be in limbo. And so the anxiety continues, especially among those who feel they should get a refund for the missed sessions. Lesson learned: Substack is not at all helpful in that regard. Firstly, the platform prefers that you work that out with the writer. Secondly, if the writer is incommunicado and you’ve paid for a full year (as I did), then there needs to be at least six months of inactivity in order for a refund to be considered. Not that I was planning to ask for a refund. Like I said, lesson learned.
Friendship
A friend mentioned in passing the other day how she was planning to go to Maui with a few girlfriends. It made me feel sad. I thought about when I last had a group of girlfriends. It was the early 80s and I remember four of us (including the above-mentioned friend) getting together at someone’s house. The four of us worked at the same engineering firm in California. I don’t remember where we were and why we were together but I do remember we had fun and it was a rare occurrence for me to enjoy being with more than one or two people at a time. In fact, most of my friendship have been duos or trios. When I was working on my master’s in English at Florida State University in the 90s, three of us became attached, to the point where one professor said, “When I see one of you, the other two aren’t far behind.” The trio is no more. One of us moved and married and had children. The other realized she really didn’t like me after all.
The commonplace book is an ancient tradition for copying out quotations. Brilliant thinkers throughout history have kept commonplace books including John Milton, Lewis Carroll, Virginia Woolf, and Octavia Butler.
I used to copy quotations all the time when I was a student. It was the most fun part of keeping a journal, and I still consider those journals the most insightful about my life during those times than the seemingly endless and always boring rants of being unlucky in love or under-appreciated at work.
As a book reviewer, writing down quotes goes a long way to helping me write the reviews. Sure, if I’m reading on my Kindle, I can “highlight” and review those highlights. But it’s not the same as picking up my notebook and pen and jotting the quote down.
I have a few blank notebooks lying about (of course). I doubt that I will actively participate in Jillian’s club (see link above). I’m already far behind in reading and connecting online.
Healthcare
I’ll spare you the rant I shared with a friend earlier today about the compartmentalization of our healthcare system. To wit: regarding a swollen foot, I was referred to my primary doctor who referred me to a vascular clinic who referred me to a vein specialist who I have yet to see. At this point, three doctors with none of them having anything definitive to say about my foot. If the vein specialist refers me to another specialist, I might give up on healthcare altogether.
(I am fine. Really. My right foot tends to swell but I’m doing all the right things and pretty soon I’ll have a bunch of compression socks to wear … when it gets cooler.)
A new zinnia popped up after the pink one (see the pink one here). I started sharing photos of the bud on Instagram and then got distracted. Next thing I knew, the bud had fully bloomed.
Yay, another zinnia bloom!
One of my problems with social media is that I’m not spontaneous enough. I share a couple of photos of the zinnia bud, but then I get busy and even just uploading a photo to IG seems to take too long. So I tell myself that I’ll post later and later becomes a few days later.
Cats
For the last few days, I’ve been cat-sitting for our neighbors across the street. Although I “know” their cats (they are indoor-outdoor cats and occasionally visit our driveway), it’s quite an experience dealing with their eccentricities.
Kitty Meow Meow waiting to be served.Frankie being his goofy self.
Frankie is very easy-going and Kitty Meow Meow can be but she’s finicky about her food. Fun. She’s finally realized that she only gets food when I come over. No 24/7 room service so she’s getting better about eating what I put in front of her (sort of). I know they will be glad when their staff return (which will be late tonight), but I do appreciate having this time to bond with them.
Writing
I’m in another lull with my writing. I’ve been busy with other things (like I just had to take a Zoom class on basketweaving), but the year-long workshop I was taking (A Year of Writing Dangerously) has hit a snag.
Around mid-June, the host, Summer Brennan, informed us that she had a family emergency but hoped she’d be back with us soon. We haven’t heard from her since. Most of us have had such family emergencies and can attest to how all-consuming those emergencies can be.
Initially I thought I could carry on without Summer. Many writers in the group seemed to want to keep some momentum in the hopes that she will be back.
Then I thought it didn’t matter whether I wrote or not. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for a year-long commitment (even though the commitment was to write daily not necessarily engage in the group daily).
I’ve been doing other things (like basketweaving) to try and avoid the issue, but I keep going back to the group’s Substack chat to see if someone knows something. We are worried about Summer, but none of us has any direct connection to her. Emails have been sent to her, but not answered.
This workshop was to be broken into 6 six-week sessions, with the 5th session to start on September 1. I keep telling myself I’ll decide then whether I’ll stay with the group. There’s some nice people in the group, but right now it’s just an “accountability” group, people checking in and reporting on how they have or haven’t been writing. Even if Summer comes back, I don’t feel like my heart is in it anymore.
Books
I have a few book reviews due and more than a few books that want to be read. Instead of writing, I listen to audiobooks (in some cases, even when I already have a print copy) while doing something like walking, weaving, or cleaning.
Photos
I have a lot of old family photos to go through. I need to upload some of them to share with my cousins, others to share with my nephews and brother-in-law.
I have so many things I want to do that I often wind up reclining on my bed and reading and typing on my iPad — as I am doing now.
So nice of Raji to keep me company.
Have you ever had a workshop experience that left you unmoored, without a compass? How did you cope?
What keeps you writing? Is it ever difficult to keep still long enough to write?
I neglected to mention that I’m also writing letters and postcards encouraging people to vote. The letters are difficult as my handwriting has really gotten bad. I’m hoping the postcards will be easier to manage.
In this week’s Lens-Artists Challenge, John of Journeys with JohnBo asks us to consider the role of Artificial Intelligence (AI) in photography, if it has any role. Specifically:
The question for today is to what extent AI makes the work something other than photography and at what point should it be identified as such.
Initially I thought I’d pass on this challenge. I already have a disdain for AI in how grifters have been using it to flood markets such as Amazon with AI-generated “garbage ebooks.” (See the Constance Grady’s article on this subject here.)
But after reading a few responses to John’s challenges, I saw that AI could be fun, simply fun, to use. And if people are honest about their use of AI, particularly in photography and writing, then at least we can see how it might function as a tool.
John’s challenge also stimulated discussion about what kind of post-editing photographers might use. I have not read every response to the challenge, but it seems that most of the photographers are like me: for example, I might crop a photo for a better close-up of my subject, or I might brighten the colors if the image seems murky. What I want to do in post-editing is try to help the viewer see what I saw with my naked eye, as close to Nature as possible. I don’t discuss post-editing, but if I was to do more, like, for example, take two photos and superimpose them, then of course, I would acknowledge that.
A photo of Raji superimposed on a photo taken at the St. Marks National Wildlife Refuge.
Did you know that WordPress has an AI Assistant? If you use Block Editor (which generally I don’t), about halfway down the right-hand sidebar under “Post,” you’ll see AI Assistant and an option to create an AI Featured Image. (Many thanks to Donna of Wind Kisses for alerting me to this feature.) I created the below image using the words “orange cat on beach” and saved it to my photos for upload.
AI-generated image of orange cat on beach.
Looking at some AI-generated images shared by the Lens-Artists team, I started to think about book cover designs. When I needed a cover for my short story “Love Me Tender,” I went to Canva which I had used to create cards. The hardest part about self-publishing my story was finding a book cover I liked. Many of the images offered by Canva are free and require no attribution, but Canva requires a subscription if you want to edit an image.
So what about AI? Thinking about my novel Clemency, I decided to see what AI could provide me. The central character in Clemency is a young woman who has been convicted of killing her live-in boyfriend. The setting for much of the novel is a small coastal town that has seen better days. The opening scenes include the young woman appearing bloodied and carrying a knife.
With that info, what kind of cover could AI generate? I provided the text: “young woman in shorts and a bloody t-shirt standing on a beach at night.” (Note: all the following images are AI-generated unless otherwise noted.)
Ah … no. This woman doesn’t look like she’s in any kind of danger or distress. Maybe I need fewer words. How about “young woman, bloody t-shirt standing on a beach at night.”
Oh, come on! Either the shirt is drenched in blood or AI thinks I mean blood-red. Determined to make AI work for me, I continued with various prompts until I got to these two.
I’d be tempted to go with the first one because that’s obviously blood on the woman’s shirt, but I don’t want her facing the camera. In my mind, that is not what the main character looks like. Besides, there’s something incongruous about an bloody shirt on an otherwise unharmed woman. While the second image doesn’t show the kind of bloody shirt I want, I can see blood on the woman’s arm. She also looks vulnerable.
For novels, I usually prefer book cover designs that are drawings or paintings, not photographs. Let’s see if AI can help me with that. So I asked for an “illustration of a young woman on a beach at night.” Just keeping it simple.
Eye roll. I’m about ready to give up. Never mind the two or three moons, but the woman has three arms. I could lose readers with this one.
One last try: “illustration of the back of a young woman wearing a bloody shirt holding a steak knife on a beach at night.”
I give up.
I have other alternatives, one of which would be to take photographs of a beach near me and then run the best photograph through filters until I get the image I want. If I’m lucky, maybe there’ll be a young woman at the beach wearing a bloody shirt and holding a steak knife.
Many thanks to John for this fascinating challenge. I encourage you all to give the WordPress AI Assistant a try if you haven’t already. Just be honest and have fun.
If you decide to play, please be sure to link back to John’s original post and include Lens-Artists in your tags so you can be found. If you’d like to participate in the challenge responses each week but aren’t sure how to get started, please check here. A big thank-you to Sofia for the lovely challenge to go Floral last week. Y’all know I love any opportunity to show off my flowers.
Recently a friend asked me to write about my experience with BookFunnel. This post will go beyond that since my experience is tethered to the publication of my short story, Love Me Tender. (For background on the story itself, read my post, Mother’s Day: Remembering My Mom and A Story to Give Away.)
Please note that the links provided in this post are not affiliate links; that is, I won’t get a commission or other compensation if you click on them.
I decided to self-publish Love Me Tender for two reasons: (1) the story is so personal that I simply didn’t want to deal with rejections any more; and (2) I wanted to test the waters of self-publication. I’ll be 67 next month and, although I’ve had a few publications over the years, I no longer expect or hope to become a traditionally published author. Time is running out. If I want to be read, I’ll need to do the publishing myself.
But how?
Vellum
I did not want to work with Amazon, not for a short story anyway, and I wasn’t interested in learning how to do book design. Whatever I did, it had to be easy-peasy. I did a little online research (this article by Parrydox was particularly informative) and settled on Vellum software for creating ebooks and paperbacks. Two things sold me on Vellum: (1) the ability to set up and view my short story in ebook form before buying the software; and (2) the possible ease in uploading my story to stores such as Amazon. I say “possible” because I haven’t yet used that feature of the software. Early days.
So I formatted, revised, and reformatted my story using Vellum and generated several different formats. Vellum essentially held my hand the whole way.
Now what? How am I going to get my story into the hands of readers, or at least their electronic devices?
BookFunnel
I recalled getting emails from authors who needed ARC reviewers, and that most of them used BookFunnel to provide the ARC. So I went to BookFunnel. For a $20 annual subscription, I was able to upload the required ebook and print formats to make my story available–for free–to readers. I tested it and, frankly, it’s kind of cool to see my short story on my Kindle.
BookFunnel does offer more than just a place to pick up a free ebook. You can require readers to provide their email addresses and develop a subscriber list. And BookFunnel has its own “bookstore.” But, again, early days. If I decide to self-publish my novels, it might well be worth using more of BookFunnel’s services.
Now, what about readers who don’t use electronic devices to read? For me, there’s still nothing like holding a printed book in my hand. I tried formatting in Word, thinking I could print a few copies myself.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Lulu
Then I remembered Lulu. No, not the singer.
I mean, Lulu, the online self-publishing book and ebook company. I had heard of Lulu through NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) years ago. Lulu held my hand as I uploaded my print file and reformatted the cover design to fit its specifications. I’ve since ordered several copies of my story to mail to family. It was not cheap but it was worth it. Lulu also has a bookstore and, holding my hand again, I was able to add my story to their bookstore in case anyone wanted to purchased a copy.
I could price my story as I wanted as long as the price was above Lulu’s printing costs. I have no interest in making money off Love Me Tender so I set the retail price at a few cents over the printing costs.
So, in a nutshell:
Vellum.pub to create the ebook and paperback formats
BookFunnel.com to provide the formats to readers for free
Lulu.com to provide printed copies at cost.
Since the publication of my short story on Mother’s Day, 15 copies have been downloaded from BookFunnel. More than I expected since the only “marketing” I’ve done is through this blog and a couple of social media sites.
The responses from friends and family have been both gratifying and validating. If Love Me Tender is all I ever publish, I can be happy with that.
Early days.
So, dear Reader, have you self-published? What was your experience like, as far as getting your work into the world?
Do you think I was trying to make it too easy on myself? Be honest.
Any thoughts about making one’s ebooks available for free? On some platforms, there is endless (i.e., ad nauseam) discussions about why we writers should be paid for every single word we write. I understand that if writing is your livelihood, but if it isn’t … .
Thank you for reading. I leave you with an oldie-but-goodie of Junior (RIP).
