Here is this week’s writing prompt from The Community Storyboard. It’s all about Tomorrow. Please submit your writing whether it be story, poem, essay, dialogue, whatever Tomorrow brings to your imagination.
Author: Marie A Bailey
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Again, I’m having a bit of fun with my NaNoWriMo work-in-progress. Here is an excerpt featuring Maggie Reynolds and a story straight out of Irish-Lativan lore.
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Maggie found a quiet corner in the cafe and set her tall Skinny Vanilla Latte on the table. It was one of her little pleasures to have a few minutes of quiet and caffeine before she opened her knitting shop next door. Another pleasure was to pick up a tabloid for a few minutes of humor. It had been one of her mother’s pleasures as well. Maggie’s mother was a college graduate (BA in philosophy and religion) but she occasionally sneaked home a copy of The National Enquirier or News of the World when she went grocery shopping. She told Maggie and her dad that the stories were sometimes too funny not to want to read beyond the headlines. And yet, she didn’t want her friends to know that she read such things: how could she say she read the rags for the stories?
And Maggie had inherited both her mother’s attraction to the ridiculous and her reticence in admitting it. The headline that had caught her eye this morning had brought her up short, though. It was so bizarre that she couldn’t help but wonder if there were any truth in it: “Young Irish Lass Assaulted by Giant Latvian Penis” was the headline, but the story was relegated to page 13, with a warning that following pictures were graphic. Maggie almost knocked over her latte when she, rather quickly, opened the paper to page 13. There in full color was a picture of a woman hugging a giant penis.
Maggie’s mouth fell open and then promptly shut. The idea of reading about a penis with her mouth hanging open was somehow unsettling. She glanced around to make sure no one in the cafe had seen her expression and then proceeded to read:
“On the evening of September 19, 20__, a young Irish woman was found on the streets near her apartment slightly bruised and very giggly. It was quickly ascertained that the woman was intoxicated and had apparently fallen while on her way home from a local pub. Police say, however, that her bruises were not entirely consistent with a stumble along a cracked sidewalk so they took her to the local hospital for examination. At hospital, the young woman explained that she taught English to Latvian students which initially confused authorities since the woman is Irish. They also suspected her of being a Russian spy, but since she could not stop giggling, they eventually disregarded that suspicion.
“Since the woman may be a victim of assault, this paper will only refer to her as L. According to L, earlier that evening she had gone to the pub to meet a young Latvian man that she had met online through a dating website. She produced a picture of the man which the police has released to our paper in the hope that either he will come forward or that someone will know of his whereabouts.
“L claimed that they had a pleasant conversation peppered with several pints of beer, but that they said goodbye at the pub with no plans to meet again. L lamented that this was typical of her dates so far with Latvian men. Our reporter, who is a Latvian woman, noted that L was not wearing the requisite stiletto heels and leopard-print, figure-hugging dress necessary for a first date. L responded with a few words which we cannot print in a family newspaper.
“When asked how she came to have bruises over her body, L said that while on her way home, she was confronted by a giant penis. The penis blocked her exit from the side street where the pub was located. L claimed that at first she thought the penis was just a costume worn by a Latvian with a sense of humor. She admitted that that was her first mistake. Her second mistake was in hugging the penis as if it were the “man of my dreams.” L stated that what happened next was not clear in her mind, but as the memory returned to her, she started giggling again. “It got p***ed off at me,” she said, obviously relishing the double entrende. Our reporter demonstrated considerable patience in waiting for L’s giggles to subside so she could wrap up the story.
“As it turns out, according to L, the penis was in fact offended by L’s “manhandling” of it and proceeded to knock itself against her head and arms in an attempt to get away from her. By this point, L was practically falling off her chair with laughter, the hospital staff had given up trying to treat her bruises (which in point of fact looked considerably benign), and our reporter was fed up with the whole story. The only “proof” that a giant penis even exists in Latvia is the picture at the top of this story, which L had been carrying around in her pocket.
“Since L will not say how she obtained the photo, it is up to our intrepid reporter to track down the giant penis and get its side of the story. A full update will be provided to our loyal readers once more information has been gained.”
Maggie quietly folded the tabloid. As she left the cafe with her now tepid latte, she slipped the rag into the newspaper recycle bin. Perhaps, she thought, she should find something else to read first thing in the morning.
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With many thanks to my good friend Linda at http://expateyeonlatvia.wordpress.com.
Related post: http://expateyeonlatvia.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/janis-janis-wherefore-art-thou-janis/
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I have been honored again with a Featured Post badge from The Community Storyboard for my response to this past week’s writing prompt, Childhood Memories. Many, many thanks to the CSB editor, Sarah M. Cradit, who presented the prompt and then selected my story. This story also happens to be an excerpt from my work-in-progress for NaNoWriMo 2013. Two things make this Featured Post selection particularly special: (1) the prompt was set up after I had returned from visiting my family home in upstate New York. Much like Melissa in the story, I would argue that I have few if any happy childhood memories. Yet, on this trip, I learned that they are there if I just make an effort to remember them. (2) I’m into Week 2 of NaNoWriMo so my confidence as a writer is starting to get shaky. I still have at least 30K words to go and I am definitely writing tribble. Except, perhaps, for this one story :)
So, make this Featured Post even more special to me by going to The Community Storyboard and reading all the other really wonderful stories, poems, and essays there. The CSB is a true treasure trove.
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OK, fess up: Do you think Pride & Prejudice is a novel worthy of a bicentennial celebration? (I do :) )
2013 marks the bicentenary of the publication of Pride and Prejudice, surely Jane Austen’s most famous novel. Over 20 million copies are thought to have been sold worldwide. Here at Interesting Literature we thought we’d look around for some interesting facts concerning this Austen classic.
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Particularly interesting post on why the Bible can be considered literature.
By Emma England, University of Amsterdam
Eye rolls, sighs, outraged anger, and accusations of blasphemy are common reactions to the refrain “the Bible is Literature”. Such responses are based on a heady combination of perceptions of the Bible as a sacred text and literature as an art form. It does seems a little churlish though, to claim the Bible is not literature, assuming one accepts the premise that literature tells a good story, has beautiful phrasing of language, depth of meaning, invokes an emotional response, and offers insight into the human condition. Take the following as examples …
Stories. King Eglon gets killed on the toilet (Judges 3:12-30), Jonah gets swallowed and then vomited out of a giant fish (Jonah 1:17-2:10), and Saul visits the witch of Endor asking for help (1 Samuel 28:3-25). These narratives can all be read in their own right but they are also part of…
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An interview with Charles Yallowitz and in audio!
The average indie author sells a few hundred copies of a book. Even though after spending nearly an hour chatting and interviewing the very down-to-earth Charles Yallowitz, I find that his writing and attitudes are anything but typical. To date, Charles has over 9000 sales on only two books. Neither have even been out for a year, yet. Looking for up-and-coming authors? If you’re still reading, you are looking in the right direction.
His attitudes toward other writers are encouraging, and his desire to write is personal. He is an author focused on enjoying writing and sharing that enjoyment with others. Charles values a good fantasy story.
I could barely contain my excitement when I got the opportunity to interview this growing indie author. I’ve recorded a portion of our conversations. Whether you are a reader or writer, you will find this interview to be a great…
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You heard it here … well, not first, but you are hearing it here! Briana Vedsted’s new book, Me and Billy the Kid, is now available on Amazon! Now, go git yourself a copy, pardner :)
Me and Billy the Kid has officially been released! Buy it here on amazon.com!
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As much as I love to blog and tweet, I’ve been trying to step back, to read and smell the roses. That means renewing my acquaintance with and my love of the short story. I do enjoy novels, of course, but, as a writer, my first love was the short story. In all the forty plus years I’ve been writing, the very first novel I ever wrote was in 2007. It remains unpublished and in serious need of revision.
I feel a stronger affinity with the short story. I’m attracted to the economy of language in the short story. You have to say so much with so little. I was reminded of this recently when I was perusing an issue of the New Yorker (October 7, 2013) and came across a story by Paul Theroux, “I’m the Meat, You’re the Knife.” (Note about the link: You’ll need to be a subscriber to read the story online.)
It was the third sentence that drew me in: “Sometimes bad news takes the form of a greeting.” I already knew that Murray Cutler was sick and that this was somehow meaningful to the narrator. So I read on and, since this is a short story, through to the end. Along the way, I found myself underlining sentences. In pink ink no less. I haven’t underlined in a magazine or a book in years. I used to do it all the time, especially when I was a student. But when I started to recycle my books by trying to sell them, well, no one wants to buy a used book that’s pockmarked with marginal notes, yellow highlighter and exclamation marks. But it was fun to underline the sentences that made me pause and wonder. And really fun to do it with pink ink.
Here’s what I found to be pink ink-worthy:
“But a death is not something you mention in passing to someone you run into. And it was better to keep these two dramas separate. Individually, they were tragedies; lumped together, they were merely news.”
“He had been a practical man, who believed in the economy of the plain truth, who thought that fiction was folly and only jackasses and liars made up stories.”
“The nature and purpose of a ritual is to meet expectations; it is the unexpected that is upsetting.”
“He possessed a victim by caressing him openly, looking like a dear friend and benefactor, and that was the paradox, because the victim was too fearful to make a scene.”
“Murray Cutler had never looked more like meat.”
In this story, Theroux write of a whole life, a novel’s worth of a life.
In an interview with Deborah Treisman, Theroux said, “The impulse to write comes, I think, from a desire—perhaps a need—to give imaginative life to experience, to share it with the reader, not to cover up the truth but to deliver it obliquely.” The truth in this story is delivered obliquely, but it is there and it is chilling.
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I’m very honored to have a story published on We Poets Show It: http://wepoetsshowit.com/2013/10/31/debut-writer-love-letter-to-a-young-man-in-a-foreign-land-by-marie-ann-bailey/ Like so many of my story or poetry ideas, this one just slowly emerged and then wouldn’t leave my head until I wrote it down. How I came about to write it reminded me that my writing muse is like Nature: she dictates when, where, how I will express myself, much like Nature will determine when, where, and how a farmer can grow his crop. This is probably one reason I have such a hard time with writing prompts. The more I want to do them, the more my muse recedes into shadows.
This particular story, “Love Letter to a Young Man in a Foreign Land,” is special to me because it’s part fiction, part fact. It evokes for me the pain and doubt I actually felt back then, and that I’m relieved to no longer feel, unless I’m writing about it. Please follow the link over to We Poets Show It and let me know there what you think of my little story.
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Here is the Eighteenth installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. When commuting to work by car, do not apply mascara while driving or use an electric razor. The former situation will have you likely wind up with a mascara brush sticking out of your eye as you slam on the brake to avoid hitting the car in front of you which decided to stop for the red light. The latter situation could cause you to shave up the side of your head, giving you a “hair style” unacceptable to your boss or to several urban gangs.
9. When commuting to work by car, refrain from driving like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause. At best, you’ll just wind up stopped at the next intersection while everyone behind you throws daggers at you with their eyes or maybe even for real. At worst, you’ll wind up alongside the road being attended to by a traffic officer eager to make his quota early, with everyone passing you with smiles of glee as they know you are getting your just desserts.
8. When commuting to work by car, refrain from listening to state or national news on your radio. Screaming expletives at the top of your lungs might make your fellow commuters worry that you are having a meltdown, at which point they will call the local police, who will only add to your near blood-boiling frustration by pulling you over and making you late for work, not to mention the possibility of you failing the “walk the line test” even though you haven’t been drinking.
7. When commuting to work by car, do not think you are encouraging the driver ahead of you to go faster by following them so closely that you can see yourself in their rearview mirror. Chances are they will suddenly step on the brake and cause you to read-end them which will result in (1) serious damage to your nice car that you will have to pay for because the accident was your fault (really, it was) and/or (2) serious damage to their nice car that you will have to pay for because the accident was your fault (really, it was).
6. When commuting to work by car, do not try to eat your breakfast and drive at the same time. At best, you’ll just gross people out when they see you stuff a double-Egg McMuffin in your mouth. At worst, the coffee you start to sip in order to wash down the Egg McMuffin will wind up covering your nice white shirt or blouse when you suddenly have to step on the brake to avoid hitting someone pulling out of a McDonald’s in front of you.
5. When commuting to work by car, avoid the temptation to pick your nose, pop a pimple, or check your teeth while waiting for a green light. With your luck, the other commuters viewing your activities will likely be attending the same business meeting that you have scheduled that morning, only their role will be as a grossed out customer.
4. When commuting to work by car, do not try to read The Wall Street Journal or finish that last chapter of Prodigy of Rainbow Tower while driving. With the former, you may wind up with a face full of newsprint when you rear-end the person in front of you and your airbag engages. At worst, you’ll never get to finish Prodigy because the traffic cop saw you reading, pulled you over, and then confiscated your book (because, of course, it had been on his to-read list).
3. When commuting to work by car, do not expect to have a smooth commute when you’re running 15 minutes late for a meeting with the CEO of your company. Do expect that the city utility vehicles will be out in full force, trimming trees and picking up yard waste on every street that is normally part of your commute, making your commute time double and your chances of being fired triple.
2. When commuting to work by car, do not expect that your fellow commuters will be understanding if you alternate between speeding and slowing down because you are trying to check your text messages before you get to your office. At best, you’ll have some near-misses as commuters try to get around you and put distance between your bad driving and theirs. At worst, the same traffic cop that pulled you over in #4 and #9 will be more than happy to pull you over again since you are single-handedly helping the officer meet a quota.
1. When commuting to work by car, do not treat your driving as a right, but rather as a privilege which can be taken away at any moment for bad behavior. At best, you’ll rack up more fines and fees in a month than you pay in car insurance in a year. At worst, well, bad driving can lead to bad things happening to other people or to you. Be mindful. Be aware. Drive safely.
Marie at 1 Write Way 