I’ve got two things to say to my blogging, reading friends: (1) If you haven’t already purchased Kevin Brennan’s Yesterday Road, then you better do it now while it’s available for a mere 99 cents; (2) If you’ve read YR, then leave a review on Amazon. Short and sweet as the man says, that’s all you need to do. So step up, people! (Pretty please!)
The sale runs through 6/27, but it doesn’t begin officially till next Friday. You, my devoted readers here at What The Hell, get first crack, so if you’ve been waiting for that perfect price point and you have a spare dollar in your virtual coin pouch, it’s time to pull the trigger.
This is also the last promotion I’ll be doing for YR before the publication of Wish I Were Here in September. After 6/27, the price returns to $4.99.
If you do take the plunge, I’d also appreciate a brief review on Amazon. I’m stuck at 24, and I’ve encountered recently at least one promotional outfit that requires 25 reviews. Short and sweet is welcome.
Finally, a big thanks to Phillip McCollum, who stepped up…
Here is the 49th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. On the weekend, do not attempt to catch up on all the sleep you missed during the week. If you do attempt, at best, you may miss a few meals. At worst, you might just find Monday morning arriving way too soon.
9. On the weekend, do not try to complete a week’s worth of exercise in one weekend day. If you do, at best, your body will remind you to take it easy next time. At worst, you will need to call EMS to help you out of bed Monday morning.
8. On the weekend, do not try to drink all the beer and margaritas you missed during the week. If you do, at best, you will still feel bad the following Friday. At worst, you could have a monumental lost weekend and wake up naked, restrained to a gurney at the county hospital with no idea how you got there nor how long you’ve been naked.
7. On the weekend do not feel you must fill in every hour with an activity to make up for the sedentary week. If you do, at best, you just might need a vacation after the weekend is over. At worst, you may be in a position to regret not having a stress test a little sooner.
6. On the weekend, do not power shop to make up for the times you were at work during the week. If you do, at best, you may see the end of the available money before the end of the available time to shop. At worst, you ignore the end of the money warning and continue shopping until your credit card company mercifully cuts you off in the most exclusive store.
5. On the weekend, do not do a marathon of chores hoping to catch up on those you missed during the week. If you do, at best, you will run out of daylight before the work is done. At worst, you will run out of energy and be faced with the end of the weekend and the prospect of an exhausted Monday morning.
4. On the weekend, do not try to watch every show you recorded during the week. If you do, at best, you will feel you have worked all weekend just watching TV. At worst, you will show up on Monday with bloodshot eyes and pasty skin leading everyone to believe you were in solitary confinement in jail for the weekend.
3. On the weekend, do not take a little work home with you. If you do, at best, you will have to sneak around to get it done before the family finds out. At worst, your boss will find out you are working during the weekend so the little work will turn into two full days of business as usual.
2. On the weekend, if you are a writer, do not try to not write. If you do, at best, you will become increasingly grumpy until your family locks you in your writing room. At worst, you will be successful in not writing and will be crushed by the guilt of ages simply because you are now two thousand words off your target causing you to change genres from Romance to Horror Fiction.
1. On the weekend, do not forget to find time to relax and recharge. If you do forget, at best, your productivity for the next week will suffer. At worst, your nerves will probably be at the point of shatter and all will let loose when your hapless boss asks you to stay for an hour more on Monday with significantly ugly results.
Mary picked up the soft cover book from her pillow where it had been resting since Lucy left it there. She opened the book so she could see the front and back cover, the red, black, and white colors making her eyes dance. Red was her favorite color. Black used to be the color of her hair. And it had been long and wavy, much as she imagined Helena’s hair to be. An index card floated down from the book and onto Mary’s lap. It was a note from Lucy: “Just call me Penny dammit!” Mary laughed at the inside joke. Both she and Lucy were regular readers of Helena’s blog and knew the story behind “Penny dammit.” (more…)
A fine literary Monday morning for me it seems, as Interesting Literature has a few interesting facts about Thomas Hardy to share. Tess of the D’Ubervilles was my introduction to Hardy: A friend found a small hardcover edition and recommended it to while we browsed in a bookstore in Canada, on our way home to New York. That trip was roughly 40 years ago and I still have the book and the love for Hardy.
Thomas Hardy was born on this day, 2 June, in 1840. (Seventeen years later to the day, composer Edward Elgar would be born.) Let’s raise a glass of something (cider?) to one of the great poets and novelists of English literature.
1. Much of the common perception of Thomas Hardy is incorrect, or, at the very least, inaccurate. Many people, if asked to describe Hardy’s background, would probably paint us a picture of a rustic, poor, and self-educated man who worked his way up the social ladder to become a celebrated author. Whilst his upbringing was certainly rural rather than metropolitan, he wasn’t exactly poor: his father was a successful builder who had six men working for him. They were hardly on the breadline. Whilst it’s true that Hardy’s family lacked the funds to send him to university – instead, he left school at sixteen to train as an architect –…
Here is the 48th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://atomic-temporary-3409443.wpcomstaging.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
Downloaded from Google Images
10. When petsitting your friends’ dog Buster, do not think that running circles in the backyard for five minutes will be adequate exercise. If you do, at best, Buster will be obedient enough to come back inside when you call and thus you will be none the wiser regarding Buster’s pent-up energy nor his overactive bladder. At worst, Buster will refuse to come in and proceed to chase you in circles until you drop from exhaustion or are rescued by a sympatric neighbor whichever comes first..
9. When petsitting your friends’ dog Molly, do not think that while taking Molly for a walk, her friendly and amiable behavior will extend to other dogs. If you do, at best, you’ll have enough upper body strength to keep her from tangling with another dog that is (fortunately for you) leashed to a post in the neighbor’s front yard. At worst, you’ll get tangled up and hauled by Molly stopping only when, the other dog is inches from your face, with the neighbor calling the police because of your inability to control the dog..
8. When petsitting your friends’ dog Jake, do not forget to bring plastic bags with you when you take Jake on a walk. If you do forget, at best, Jake will wait until you are in your friends’ front yard before deciding to do number 2 in front of countless witnesses. At worst, he will pick the most pristine lawn (with the sign Keep Off) in the neighborhood and promptly do number 2 in full view of the owner and you will have to make apologies and promises as you run back to your friends’ house to retrieve the plastic bags and then take a long walk of shame to return and clean up.
7. When petsitting your friends’ dog Bella, do not think you can be late for a visit without dire consequences. If you are late for a visit, at best, Bella will only give you a dirty look when you finally arrive and let her out to do her “business.” At worst, there will be more than a dirty look waiting for you when you finally show up and your friends will ask you where to send the multiple carpet cleaning bills.
6. When petsitting your friends’ dog Hugo and taking him for a walk in a local park, do not think you can ignore the posted leash laws and allow Hugo to run without a leash in the hope that he tires himself out fast and you can go home sooner. At best, you’ll get dirty looks from the other dog walkers who chose to obey the law as well as a dirty dog because Hugo found a small pool of muddy water to play in. At worst, Hugo will take off like a rocket and you will spend hours searching to no avail and then panicking over what to tell your friends only to arrive back at the house in the dark and find Hugo, happy and tired, waiting for you on the front steps along with the animal control officer who followed him there.
5. When petsitting your friends’ cat Princess, do not forget to check the litter box at every visit. If you do forget, at best, Princess will be resourceful enough to find unsoiled spots and allow your nose to alert you to the need to clean the box. At worst, Princess will decide to teach you a lesson and leave you a surprise or two shaped like a Tootsie Roll just inside the front door which you will find under your first step..
4. When petsitting your friends’ cat Tom and seeing that they have a harness and leash for him, do not think taking Tom on a walk will be one way to avoid it needing the litter box (and thus you having to clean it). If you do take Tom on a walk, at best, Tom will spend most of the time lounging in a square of sunshine and be loath to move unless you pick him up and carry him back home. At worst, Tom will see another cat and set off to chase it with unexpected strength, pulling your shoulder out of its socket in the process.
3. When petsitting your friends’ cat, do not think the cat’s nickname—PsychoKitty—is actually a term of endearment and you can caress her to your heart’s content. At best, PsychoKitty will tolerate your petting and you will know enough to stop when you hear a low growl. At worst, you ignore the low growl and quickly find yourself in a situation at the ER where several doctors are required to convince PsychoKitty to release your arm.
2. When petsitting your friends’ cat Milo, do not ignore your friends’ warning that Milo likes to rub against people’s legs when he’s hungry. If you do, at best, you’ll just find it takes longer to get to the kitchen since you have to navigate around Milo’s paws as he loops in and around your legs. At worst, you step on Milo’s paws causing him to emit a banshee-like yowl and you to trip over your own feet, resulting in a face plant on the tiled kitchen floor.
1. When petsitting your friends’ cat Ruby, do not forget your friends’ warning that Ruby likes to lurk on the top of bookcases. If you do, at best, you’ll simply have a few panicked hours of thinking Ruby had gotten out of the house before you finally see her at the top of a bookcase, her eyes mere slits of boredom. At worst, after hours of a panicked search, Ruby will finally make herself known by jumping from the bookcase onto your shoulders, causing you to make face plant on the hardwood floor, where you lie for several minutes convinced you heard Ruby laugh as she ran off of you and jumped back onto the bookcase.
Here is the 48th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
Downloaded from Google Images
10. When petsitting your friends’ dog Buster, do not think that running circles in the backyard for five minutes will be adequate exercise. If you do, at best, Buster will be obedient enough to come back inside when you call and thus you will be none the wiser regarding Buster’s pent-up energy nor his overactive bladder. At worst, Buster will refuse to come in and proceed to chase you in circles until you drop from exhaustion or are rescued by a sympatric neighbor whichever comes first..
9. When petsitting your friends’ dog Molly, do not think that while taking Molly for a walk, her friendly and amiable behavior will extend to other dogs. If you do, at best, you’ll have enough upper body strength to keep her from tangling with another dog that is (fortunately for you) leashed to a post in the neighbor’s front yard. At worst, you’ll get tangled up and hauled by Molly stopping only when, the other dog is inches from your face, with the neighbor calling the police because of your inability to control the dog..
8. When petsitting your friends’ dog Jake, do not forget to bring plastic bags with you when you take Jake on a walk. If you do forget, at best, Jake will wait until you are in your friends’ front yard before deciding to do number 2 in front of countless witnesses. At worst, he will pick the most pristine lawn (with the sign Keep Off) in the neighborhood and promptly do number 2 in full view of the owner and you will have to make apologies and promises as you run back to your friends’ house to retrieve the plastic bags and then take a long walk of shame to return and clean up.
7. When petsitting your friends’ dog Bella, do not think you can be late for a visit without dire consequences. If you are late for a visit, at best, Bella will only give you a dirty look when you finally arrive and let her out to do her “business.” At worst, there will be more than a dirty look waiting for you when you finally show up and your friends will ask you where to send the multiple carpet cleaning bills.
6. When petsitting your friends’ dog Hugo and taking him for a walk in a local park, do not think you can ignore the posted leash laws and allow Hugo to run without a leash in the hope that he tires himself out fast and you can go home sooner. At best, you’ll get dirty looks from the other dog walkers who chose to obey the law as well as a dirty dog because Hugo found a small pool of muddy water to play in. At worst, Hugo will take off like a rocket and you will spend hours searching to no avail and then panicking over what to tell your friends only to arrive back at the house in the dark and find Hugo, happy and tired, waiting for you on the front steps along with the animal control officer who followed him there.
5. When petsitting your friends’ cat Princess, do not forget to check the litter box at every visit. If you do forget, at best, Princess will be resourceful enough to find unsoiled spots and allow your nose to alert you to the need to clean the box. At worst, Princess will decide to teach you a lesson and leave you a surprise or two shaped like a Tootsie Roll just inside the front door which you will find under your first step..
4. When petsitting your friends’ cat Tom and seeing that they have a harness and leash for him, do not think taking Tom on a walk will be one way to avoid it needing the litter box (and thus you having to clean it). If you do take Tom on a walk, at best, Tom will spend most of the time lounging in a square of sunshine and be loath to move unless you pick him up and carry him back home. At worst, Tom will see another cat and set off to chase it with unexpected strength, pulling your shoulder out of its socket in the process.
3. When petsitting your friends’ cat, do not think the cat’s nickname—PsychoKitty—is actually a term of endearment and you can caress her to your heart’s content. At best, PsychoKitty will tolerate your petting and you will know enough to stop when you hear a low growl. At worst, you ignore the low growl and quickly find yourself in a situation at the ER where several doctors are required to convince PsychoKitty to release your arm.
2. When petsitting your friends’ cat Milo, do not ignore your friends’ warning that Milo likes to rub against people’s legs when he’s hungry. If you do, at best, you’ll just find it takes longer to get to the kitchen since you have to navigate around Milo’s paws as he loops in and around your legs. At worst, you step on Milo’s paws causing him to emit a banshee-like yowl and you to trip over your own feet, resulting in a face plant on the tiled kitchen floor.
1. When petsitting your friends’ cat Ruby, do not forget your friends’ warning that Ruby likes to lurk on the top of bookcases. If you do, at best, you’ll simply have a few panicked hours of thinking Ruby had gotten out of the house before you finally see her at the top of a bookcase, her eyes mere slits of boredom. At worst, after hours of a panicked search, Ruby will finally make herself known by jumping from the bookcase onto your shoulders, causing you to make face plant on the hardwood floor, where you lie for several minutes convinced you heard Ruby laugh as she ran off of you and jumped back onto the bookcase.
Humanity has been driven into the wilderness by the ‘Invaders’. They have been forced to live as colonies in the wilderness where survival is a daily struggle. Hope becomes harder and harder to hold onto as the years pass.
Then one day, a young man tells a story to an injured friend and the Hopeteller is born. Unsure of the power of his words, he finds himself moving the colony with his fairy tales. He will see his people through death and fear as they continue to fight for survival.
Enjoy this novella that is half post-apocalyptic journal and half fairy tales.
Here is the 47th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
10. On Memorial Day, do not accept an invitation to your boss’ house for a picnic even if you think it will be good for your career. If you do, at best, you might just have an awful time. At worst, you might be pressed into service as one of the wait staff. (more…)
…it’s some of the best fun yeez can have with yer clothes on… Guest Blogging… as a Category in ‘gift-giving’, it’s right up there with doing reviews for yer fellow scribblers… blessing those who give and those who receive (would make a neat epithet that, Mabel)… I ask only one tiny, wee ROOL… no offensive material, if yeez don’t mind… all else is fair game… content, style, number of WURDS… with or without photographs… I would welcome, and expect, plenty of exposure to yer own masterpieces… links for readers and others to check them out… bio information, should yeez so desire… tell fibs about yerselves if yeez wish (Interpol will not be in the loop)… in short, use the page here however yeez like… and just so yeez are aware, I link every one of my blog posts to my own SOSYAL NETWURKS on Twitter, Facebook…
Marie at 1 Write Way 