Marie at 1 Write Way

Five Things on May 19, 2025

Now you see me, now you don’t

Some of you might have noticed that I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for a while. I am (again) attempting to resume blogging, or at least reading and commenting. Right now I’m using my iPad to write. That is important because for some reason, I loathe using my usual setup which is my laptop hooked up to a large monitor. You’d think that would be a more ideal situation; the large monitor makes reading and writing easier. But. After spending nearly a year during the COVID pandemic working from home, my once-ideal writing space triggers a mild form of PTSD whenever I consider sitting down at that space to write.

I’m trying to get past that with baby steps. The first step was to move my fancy, ergonomic office chair (a necessity when my butt had to be parked in place for 8+ hours a day) to the garage and move my old but preferred minimalist office chair back into my room. (This also benefits my husband since he has computers set up in the garage for his astrophotography and my fancy office chair is more comfortable for him.)

I don’t know what the second step will be.

Writing

I haven’t been writing except for almost daily emails to my so-called Congressional representatives. Creative energy goes into those emails although I know they are not read. They are not verbose, but, as any writer knows, short pieces of writing take longer to write. Such writing might be exercises in futility, but I am exercising my First Amendment right so … there.

Despite that daily exercise, I’m struggling with my vocabulary. With the spoken word. I’ve been struggling to find the right word or phrase while in conversation. I have to describe the word I want (if I can) and my husband guesses the word or phrase. Recently it was the word eliminate, but that really wasn’t what I wanted. It came to me some time later: rule out. I was trying to describe a process of elimination, but in a way more commonly used by, say, medical professionals. “We want to rule out cancer,” for example, when your cat is being examined for anorexia.

Cats

Our cat Wendy stopped eating on May 8. Well, her last meal was the night before, and she threw that up. Pretty much undigested. We watched her for a day, having seen similar behavior when she had a hairball forming. When she still refused food on Friday, I called the clinic and got an appointment for that afternoon.

We went in prepared to pull out all the stops. No guesswork, please. Rule out the worst-case scenarios first. If she has cancer, we want to know sooner rather than later.

No cancer, but an x-ray suggested she might have a GI problem, some inflammation. We were sent home with antibiotics and appetite stimulants. Unfortunately, the antibiotics were liquid, and Wendy doesn’t take to liquid medicine. She struggles, fights back, and then doesn’t want to eat because the meds taste so bad.

So the next day we called the clinic and agreed to bring her in so they could feed her through a tube.

Three nights. Wendy spent three nights at the animal hospital. During this time, the vets changed out. The first vet, Dr. S was good, but she wasn’t Wendy’s “primary” vet. The second vet, Dr. C, is her primary, and one of the first things Dr. C did was an ultrasound.

Still no cancer, but now we had a diagnosis: Inflammatory Bowel Disease. It’s not really a disease but a syndrome (and I don’t know why they don’t just call it Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome). It’s indicative of a possible underlying issue. In any case, Dr. C wanted to treat the IBD aggressively. Steroids, two antibiotics, and three types of appetite stimulants. And Dr. C wanted her to eat on her own before releasing her.

The third night we visited Wendy. It broke our hearts to see a thin tube curling up through her nose, a small cone around her head. We brought food but she wasn’t interested. She was pissed. She growled and stumbled around but eventually started focusing on our laps, first moving to Greg’s lap, then mine, then settling down between us while we petted her and scratched her head. She purred.

She was calm by the time we left, and even the technician said that such visits really help the animals. I didn’t know.

The next morning, we got the happy news that Wendy had eaten a bit on her own, and Dr. C wanted her to go home where (hopefully) she would recover more quickly.

We brought a pharmacy’s worth of drugs home, thankfully only one of the medications being liquid this time. (Still was a supreme and messy struggle to dose her.)

The appetite stimulants really work. We’ve had to lock up our Brazil nuts and raisins because Wendy was breaking into the bags if we left them out.

Wendy’s been home for almost a week now, and she’s finished with the more difficult to administer drugs. The rest can be given to her in Pill Pockets which she gobbles up like treats. We have to isolate her when we’re having dinner otherwise she’ll walk all over us, trying to get at our food. That behavior should diminish as she finishes her remaining meds.

Wendy leaning in a piece of my breakfast sausage which she did not get.

We’ll take her to Dr. C on Thursday for a recheck. It’s possible Wendy will have to be on the steroid indefinitely, a small price to pay to keep our girl with us for another several years. Wendy is at least 14. We had to euthanize Maxine in December 2021 and Junior in September 2023. It’s much too soon to let go of another kitty.

Our two kitties—Raji and Wendy. May we have many more years with them.

Knitting

When I haven’t been writing emails to my reps or administrating drugs to Wendy, I’ve been knitting. Recently I finished a pair of socks that I had started at the outset of the Knit-A-Thon. I randomly selected one of my generous Knit-A-Thon donors and sent them on their way.

I do love knitting with this kind of self-striping yarn, and they are fun to wear. I always get compliments when I wear my hand-knitted socks.

More Writing

Before I go (this post is longer than I usually write, but I have some pent-up thoughts to share), another thing about writing.

Earlier I complained that I’m having difficulty coming up with words or phrases that I believe I should have no trouble conjuring. One theory is that I’m not writing enough, that my lack of blogging, my lack of creative writing has dulled part of my brain and so I need to write more. Here. On my blog. Writing might well stimulate my brain and open up my vocabulary.

Meanwhile …

I’m also inspired by what other people are writing. Here’s a post from Summer Brennan’s Substack newsletter, A Writer’s Notebook: The List.

I love what Summer does with this post, this listing of all the loves across her life. She urges the reader to make a similar list and think of it as a kind of self-portrait.

While I think that would be a lovely exercise for some, for me it would be painful. And yet, in thinking about my past loves, I can see how I matured through those experiences. Before my husband, my longest relationship lasted roughly three years. Now my longest relationship is over 35 years.

Digging up the past is fodder for a writer, but perhaps that’s why I veer toward fiction. I can look back and find a story, but rather than write the truth as I remember it, I want to make a few corrections. I’ve done things that I’m ashamed of, that I will never forgive myself for, but I can reimagine those abuses through the lens of many decades. I can be honest, but spare the whip.

Thank you for reading! Tell me:

Do you struggle with finding the right word or phrase? I’m wondering if there are any exercises out there that can help with retaining vocabulary. Please share if you know of any.

What do you think about making a list of your past loves? Would it painful or fun or both?

Wendy

Marie A Bailey

, , ,

39 responses to “Five Things on May 19, 2025”

  1. Yep, I have trouble finding the right word sometimes, but I’m not worried about it at this point. I do the big book of Sunday New York Times crossword puzzles, which helps me track any serious memory problems that might be popping up. I’m learning French on Duolingo just to exercise the old brain, and I write every day to stay as sharp as possible. It killed me to watch Iris Murdoch go downhill, so I hope that never happens to you or me!

    Glad Wendy’s on the mend! 😺😺😺

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kevin, you reminded me that I used to spend a 30 minutes to an hour a day studying Spanish. I haven’t done that in a long time so maybe I should resume. I’ve also tried studying French … just in case I ever need to leave the country 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Beautiful Wendy, beautiful socks, and I am so glad you’re back. I am also at a los for a word—nothing new for me; it’s been an issue for decades, but worse. Blame stress, blame the current situation.

    I am busy submitting—a word that does not suit me now and never has. Next year I will print send copies of the ms to the people who helped me write the blasted-thing-that-no-one-wants to publish and have done. I have two sweaters knit to the neckline where I have stopped because I can’t seem to wrap my mind around shaping the neckline. Weird. It’s not like I haven’t done it before twenty times!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Jan. I did something similar with a short story that I decided to self-publish. It was fun sending copies to my friends and relatives and hearing their responses. (Especially from my relatives since the story was loosely based on my mom’s life.)

      You know, I’ve been knitting for decades but I still get stymied. For a long time, I would only knit shawls because then I wouldn’t need to much if any shaping and definitely no assembly. It wasn’t that long ago that I knitted myself two pairs of socks, and yet these that I recently finished were a challenge. Thank goodness I’m not adverse to ripping out and starting over 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so glad Wendy is doing better. Yes, a lifetime of drugs is better than the alternative. I hope you have many more years with her. I have trouble finding the right word and I write every day. I just think it is the same kind of snap that happens when you enter a room and have no idea why you did so. What I do when I’m hunting for an elusive word is to try and keep thinking of synonyms until it falls into place. Of course, if I need to give up there is always the thesaurus to rescue me. I think writing about past loves is a good idea. I put them in my books. (Don’t tell them though.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Indeed, we’ll be happy to give Wendy steroids for life just to keep her happy and with us.

      Funny … I never thought of using a thesaurus to find the words I’m looking for. My goodness … I used to keep a thesaurus near me all the time when I was in college. Sometimes I’d look up words just for fun.

      That’s the thing about being a writer … everyone—friend, foe, or lover—winds up in our stories 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m glad Wendy seems to be feeling much better, and I hope she has many years ahead of her! I generally only have trouble with words if I’m tired–or if I’m having trouble focusing on one thing. I think more writing and more reading are helpful.

    Your Brazil nuts made me think. I eat one a day and husband two as a possible way to keep dementia away!

    The socks are stunning! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It was good to see a new post from you, Marie! I hope that Wendy continues to a full recovery from her illness. I love the socks! As for forgetting words, I do occasionally. I describe it as a hole in my brain where the word used to be. It will usually pop back into my head later if I stop thinking about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Liz! Wendy is doing well. She’s had a couple of episodes with throwing up, but it might be the food I gave her. We have a variety, trying to find which brand/flavor/texture works best for her. At least her appetite comes back quickly.

      I often describe my brain as a sieve: I struggle to remember things, especially things I just read. It could also be information overload. There’s so much going on. I can’t keep up … and I’m not sure I really want 😬

      Liked by 2 people

      • I’m glad Wendy continues to do well.

        You’re welcome, Marie! Information overload is a real phenomenon. The brain can only process and retain a certain amount of information at a time.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. I wrote a long comment here last night, then WP was being a pain and erased it. So, I’m trying again. I’m so glad that Wendy seems better now, even if she has to continue with medication for the rest of her life. The socks are beautiful! 😉

    I think I’m more likely to have difficulty with words if I’m tired.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, that has happened to me, especially when I’m using the WP app on my iPad. Sometimes, if I know my comment will be long, I’ll write it in my Notes app and then copy it to the WP post. But … I don’t always know how much I’m going to write 😆

      Wendy has had a couple of vomiting episodes so I guess she’s not out of the woods yet. But her appetite has bounced back both times so (fingers crossed) it might be the food I gave her before she threw up. Fortunately I have a stockpile of various cat food 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • I only use the site on my laptop, so it’s not the WP app. Yeah, sometimes if I’ve had a problem, I copy the comment.

        I hope Wendy feels better and continues to improve. I know it’s so upsetting to see our furry pals not well. Hugs.

        Liked by 2 people

  8. Wendy looks like she’s weathered yet another health-storm! Whew!
    As for the word search thing: Since the Pandemic, I handwrite words I’m uncertain of their meaning when I come across them while reading. Then I look them up in a physical dictionary and handwrite their definitions in a vocab page in my ‘creative’ notebook. I’m literally a hands-on person and whenever I feel too spacey on stuff, I realize it’s due to too much research/reading on the internet rather than with a physical source. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but that’s my mini answer to your vocab exercise request! ;-)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laura, your strategy makes a lot of sense. Frankly, I find it more fun to look up words in a printed dictionary than online. In my (very) early college days, I carried around a small paperback etymology dictionary. It eventually fell apart 🙂 Ally had a similar suggestion, of writing down words I’d want to look up. I also used to keep a journal nearby where I write down quotes I wanted to remember. I need to do this again.

      I agree that too many time reading and researching on the internet can make the mind fuzzy. Information overload.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. You found the right words with this: so-called Congressional representatives. They don’t represent anyone I know.

    I understand about being at a loss for the word you want but you can’t figure out what the word is because you’re at a loss. I do free word games online, a variety of them, and they force my brain to bend in different ways that seems to loosen it up. Also as I read the news I scribble notes on a big legal pad. The notes are phrases or fancy words I need to look up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Can you recommend any online word games? I do enjoy those. I used to love doing crossword puzzles, especially the New York Times but I don’t subscribe any more.

      I need to have pen and paper near me when I read! I used to be very good about that and still have journals from decades ago where I’d jot down interesting quotes. Writing things down also helps me remember what I read so that’s a habit I need to get back into.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Those socks are wonderful! Really love them. I bought some of that type of yarn to make these bookmarks I’m working on because it was so pretty, but in a small project like that, the wrong color comes up too often (ie. the light yellow against a yellow fabric). Live and learn.

    I am empathizing way too much with Wendy, having stomach issues of my own. I’m glad she was able to come home–3 nights is a looooong time.

    I lose my words when I’m taking strong NSAIDs, Relafen or Diclofenac. Not just losing the word–saying the wrong word. It’s frightening to me; I list them as allergies and no longer take them.

    So good to get the blog post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Ellen, for these lovely comments! I agree: self-striping yarn isn’t well-suited for small projects, but you don’t know until you try 🙂 I do hope you do not have tummy troubles like Wendy. Poor thing. She threw up against in the wee hours of this morning. We have a variety of cat food, and I think what I gave her last night didn’t sit well with her. Fortunately, she got her appetite back and is doing well. You know, I do have Diclofenac at home but I haven’t taken any in a while. I do take Gabapentin regularly for my arthritis. I do hope that is not interfering with my vocabulary!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Hi Marie. From what I’ve experienced with my own cats and my daughter’s, the teens are when trouble often hits. My daughter’s cat Ginger has been on steroids for quite some time now. She is 16.
    I hope Wendy keeps feeling better!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Marie! You and Wendy have been through a lot! Best wishes for her recovery.

    I know what you mean about struggling with words sometimes. As Ally said, the free online games are a help. My sister-in-law, niece, and I do the NYT Connections puzzle. There is also Wordle and Spelling Bee.

    Thank you for your diligence in writing those letters!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, L. Marie! I’ve started playing a word game available through The Guardian. It’s similar to one that I used to play on my Kindle … but I haven’t opened my Kindle in a long time ;-)

      Like