"Eve bore the greater punishment:
subjugation beyond exile
pain beyond loss.

We are no longer trusted.
The hierarchy we must not debate
goes like this:
                 God
                 Leader
                 landowner
                 boss
                 father
                 husband
                 . . .

                we, the foolish girls

A man has twenty-four ribs
A woman is one twenty-fourth 
                                                          of a man."

Several months ago I won Eyes Open in a giveaway hosted by L. Marie at El Space. I did not take several months to read this compelling novel written in free verse. Procrastination–the one thing I excel at–preempted a timely review. But perhaps not.

Given the U.S. election results, perhaps this is the right time to share a review of this powerful book.

Eyes Open is the story of Sonia, a feisty, independent-minded teenager and her struggle to realize real independence in Portugal during 1966-1967, a slice of time during a dictatorship that lasted from 1926 to 1974. Sonia is in love with Zé Miguel, a dissident not much older than herself. Her family is against the relationship because they are both considered too young (in their mid- to late teens) and because of Zé Miguel’s anti-government activities.

At the beginning of the novel, Sonia’s family is enjoying a relatively middle-class life. They own their own restaurant and the five daughters (to Sonia’s father’s deep disappointment, he has no sons) attend a Catholic school. There Sonia and her friends create a poetry club and write poems honoring Zé Miguel after he is arrested and imprisoned.

Sonia writes in free verse because

I don’t have time
to rhyme.

And indeed she doesn’t. Zé Miguel’s arrest causes suspicion among Sonia and her friends and her sisters. Sonia gets revenge on those who turned Zé Miguel in. The backlash is quick and fierce.

One step over the line.
My boyfriend’s in prison.

One step over the line.
Our family’s business is gone.

One step over the line.
We leave our home forever.

We scatter, start over, refugees
in our own land.

Sonia is a brave young woman but naive in that she seems to take men, at least the ones she is attracted to, at face value, despite (or perhaps in spite of) warnings from friends.

Zé Miguel breaks Sonia’s heart but she understands why: in this country, even among the dissidents, women are expected to be subservient. Another young man plays the long game with her, courting her, convincing her that he admires her poetry and her independence when, frankly, all he wants is to get into her pants.

Despite the betrayals, Sonia’s willingness to believe in people and, more importantly, believe in herself as a positive force is heartening.

Sonia takes many risks for the sake of her independence, suffers beatings from her father, survives dangerous work at a hotel laundry, and eventually manages to escape Portugal. (And it is an escape. As a female, she is prohibited from traveling freely.) Still, she does not give up.

I am a scatterling
one of many.
[...]
for the monsters among us
moved into our home
made colonies of our minds
and between a hostile neighbor
and the sea
I cast my lot with the sea

with the certainty that
like fishing boats sailing beyond
                                                             the horizon
      brave sailor
      eyes open
gazing toward a new world beyond
                                                             the horizon

I too
will
return.

I have tried to replicate the structure of the free verse used in this novel so you can see how effective that structure is to convey feeling. Eyes Open is available at Bookshop and Amazon.

An audio version is available through libro.fm. Such wonderful narration by Soneela Nankani! If you can afford it, I would recommend buying both, perhaps listening to the book as you read it.

I also highly recommend this interview with Lyn Miller-Lachmann on El Space: Check This Out: Eyes Open. L. Marie always conducts a great interview.

Eyes Open is a powerful story of one young woman’s fight for self-determination, for independence for herself and her country. It may well be necessary reading for these times.

And so. Here we are. I am struggling to keep my composure. I am struggling to take care of myself. I had looked forward to the end of the election so I could finally relax and refocus on all the things I’ve been neglecting during the campaigns. Instead of writing for my blog and knitting for myself, I had mailed letters and postcards, donated $ when and where I could. Stay informed. Voted.

I don’t regret a second of it. Instead, I wish I had written more letters, more postcards. Would it have made a difference? Probably not. But it’s who I am.

I no longer march and I don’t believe in text banking or phone banking. I’m one of those people who will not answer calls from unknown numbers and who finds unsolicited text messages annoying. But I can write so that I did.

I am fearful. I’ve often been literally sick to my stomach since early Wednesday morning. I know it’s going to get real ugly and dark and scary. I believe we will probably be okay because we’re old white people. Then again we might witness the end of Social Security and Medicare as well life-saving vaccines … but we are not panicking. Not yet.

For now, I’m grabbing any and every little bright star I can find. At last count, 69.1 million people voted for Harris so there are 69.1 million people in this country who still believe in Democracy. Another 2.2 million voted for someone other than Harris or what’s-his-name. I’m not sure what those voters believe in. But I will keep returning to that 69.1 million as 69.1 million brilliant stars in a very dark sky.

I find other brilliant stars in the Democrats who won local or state-level races, in the states that voted for reproductive rights, in the lawyers who are gearing up to stop or at least slow down the heinous policies set forth by Project 2025. I am not going to give up.

I can’t give up. I don’t want to give up. I think of Sonia and how much worse her life would have been if she had just given up and given in.

Lastly, these two need me.

Please take care of yourselves. I know that many of you who read my blog feel as I do. You are all brilliant stars to me.