Top Ten Things Not to Do on New Year’s Eve

Here is the 26th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

10.  On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to consume everything in the city. If you do, at best you may gain a few pounds. At worst, you will never ever feel better again.

9.  On New Year’s Eve, do not think everyone is in love with you. If you do, at best you may get a new roommate. At worst, you may wake up next to a stranger who is now your spouse.

8.  On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to scream “Happy New Year” more than once. If you do, at best you will lose your voice. At worst, someone may in fact put a sock in it.

7.  On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to invent and issue resolutions for everyone else. If you do, at best you will lose some friends. At worst, your host may resolve to ban you to the patio.

6.  On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to help others drink more. If you do, at best you may be the last person standing. At worst, you may be named as a co-defendant on a DUI.

5.  On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to give everyone a kiss. If you do, at best they will all think you are a nerd. At worst, you may pick up a nice case of bubonic plague.

4.  On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to sing “Auld Lang Syne.” If you do, at best, your off-key rendition will be recorded for playback when you are sober. At worst, you’ll not know the words and remove all doubt as to your IQ.

3.  On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to tell everyone exactly what you think of them. If you do, at best, a few will want to take you outside. At worst, several will.

2.  On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to remove some of your clothes to be more comfortable. If you do, at best, you may not know when to stop. At worst, there could be additional records of your lack of discretion that you will need to pay handsomely to squelch.

1.  On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to get behind the wheel of a car after you have won the shots per hour contest. If you do you, at best you will end up in jail. At worst, you might just hurt someone.

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24 Comments

  1. I remember someone in college doing that. He mysteriously vanished from the party at some point.

    Reply
  2. Well, that’s my New Year’s ruined… ;)

    Reply
  3. Good Morning Marie. I really got a laugh out of number nine. The whole SURPRISE aspect of that one made me chortle. “Excuse me, but do I know you?” Ha Ha. Great list

    Reply
  4. This is exactly why we stay home and play Scrabble to old movies on NYE! 🎉

    Reply
  5. On New Year’s Eve, remember that this is the era of social media and cell-phone cameras, and that your boss has internet access.

    Reply
  6. My fund for handsomely paying off is at an all time low. Best wear lots of layers. Lots. :)

    Reply
  7. Great advice, Marie! I loved number nine… hilarious. We stay home, the roads are a scary place on NYE. Happy New Year!

    Reply
  8. God help those of us who found themselves putting check marks…Happy new eear!! :-)

    Reply
  9. Ha haaa – best top ten list of the year! Brilliant! :D

    Reply
  10. Haha! I love the Auld Lang Syne one! The fear of having things recorded and played back whilst sober = the preventer of a great many bad ideas!

    Reply

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