Top Ten List of Things Not To Do at Work

Here is the Ninth installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not To Do by John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com and Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy and Happy Labor Day.

work

10.  If you arrive to work early, do not go into someone else’s cubicle to look for snacks even if you know they are in the top drawer and it is doubtful that anyone can see you. You may just stumble on a deep dark secret and they may have to kill you if they know you know.

9.  If your boss stops by to talk to you, do not start offering excuses for your poor performance until your boss actually says your performance is poor. You may wipe out the positive comments that your boss was going to make and instead get a more critical look at your performance.

8.  If your boss asks you about a co-worker, do not start a critical review before the boss actually asks for a critical review. In your boss’s mind, your co-worker may walk on water and you’ll wind up treading water.

7.  If you have your annual review scheduled for the morning, do not continue to stuff your face with bean and cheese breakfast tacos until the moment of truth. You might just become a very undesirable and odoriferous office companion and the review could end before the salary increase discussion begins.

6.  If you are going out to lunch with your boss, do not order spaghetti or ask for a doggie bag for whatever you do order. If the former, you just may wind up looking like you have been to a tomato pie eating contest; with the latter, your boss may wonder if you are supplementing your food stamp program with carry outs.

5.  When asked to work late, do not demand carry in food and drink. You may just may get the reputation as someone who is so focused on food that you cannot live an extra hour beyond the dinner hour, which will not go unnoticed next time.

4.  When asked to travel on business, do not take this as an opportunity to live beyond your means. Just because you are not paying the bill is no reason to act like a rock star and order room service ten times a day and trash your hotel room. You could be asked to pay the money back which would make you an indentured servant to your firm for years to come.

3.  When taking someone to dinner on company credit, do not let it be known that the sky’s the limit on food and drink. It could be the person you take to dinner may just have a spare family or two that they are supporting and will most likely order enough to feed them all.

2.  When asking for a raise, do not talk about how much you need the money or how much others are making in relation to you. It just could be your boss might think you are not worth what you are currently being paid and give your share to those who he thinks are more worthwhile.

1.  When attending the company annual Christmas party or picnic, do not feel you need to tell everyone exactly what you think of them even if you have been over-served and really think it is the right thing to do. Wait until the next day to make your statement when everyone is too hung over to care.

About these ads

15 Comments

  1. Great fun! Thanks for this. :-)

    Like

  2. #10 got this professor! How was it known?

    Like

  3. I notice a lot of these are food-oriented… Are you and John getting enough to eat? ;)

    Like

  4. Love these!

    Like

  5. No nudity?

    Like

  6. Marie. Great job (even if I say so myself) I remember (I think) sitting on the stoop of my bosses house after his summer party and insisting on saying good night to everyone. I also told a few fellow workers how much I lived them. (or not) Had a wonderful Monday morning apology session with the loved and unloved.

    Like

  7. Really good fun! Ugh, I still remember those mornings after the night before when everyone was crawling in after the office party, wondering who’d made the biggest show of themselves ;)

    Like

Tahoma Literary Review

A Northwest Based Literary Journal

barsetshirediaries

A site for the Barsetshire Diaries Books and others

Green Embers

My random musings, thoughts and just splash of C#

Who Is Jessica?

Writing strange fiction and scaring the pants off you in public

Expat Eye on Germany

Becoming German in 473,937,493 easy steps

Writer Site

Memoir, poetry, & writing theory

Lit World Interviews

With RonovanWrites

Fat-Bottom-Fifties Get Fierce

...and have fun doing it

The Contented Crafter

A blog containing random thoughts, creations from my craft room and tales about a cat called Orlando and a puppy called Siddy

Kitt O'Malley

Living with Bipolar Disorder. Loved by God.

Legends of Windemere

Enjoy the Adventure

Busy Mind Thinking

Wait! What?!

Hollis Hildebrand-Mills

Divine Imagery Is Everywhere™

parlor of horror

All things horror… and some sci-fi, too...

BREVITY's Nonfiction Blog

(Somewhat) Daily News from the World of Literary Nonfiction

"Broken Glass"

Quietly contemplating female characters in English and American literature

The 4 A.M. Writer

Writing about writing, life, and other musings

cicampbellblog

WriteWhereYouAre

Isabella Stines

A creative writing blog. Simple as that.

Year 'Round Thanksgiving Project

Not just a one day event, I'm blogging every day about what I'm thankful for

Jackie Mallon

Author/Fashion Designer

Aussa Lorens

Hacker. Ninja. Hooker. Spy.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,627 other followers

%d bloggers like this: