Here is the second installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not To Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
For your first job interview:
10. Do not bring your cat. For one, the interviewer may be allergic to cats. For another, the cat may take that opportunity to gift a massive hairball on the interviewer’s desk.
9. Do not go on a bender the night before. The interviewer may not take kindly to you smelling like a vat of fermenting wine or worse adding a hairball of your own making to the desk.
8. Do not choose this as an opportunity to express your inner punk by sporting a blue Mohawk hair style. With your luck, the interviewer will likely be a former Marine who will want to shave off that blue hair personally with a dull jungle knife.
7. Do not show up wearing your gardening clothes. This may confuse the interviewer as to whether you’re there for the interview or you’re just one of the landscape crew.
6. Do not offer as one of your weaknesses that you are a procrastinator, even if it is true. In response, the interviewer may procrastinate about whether to tell you that you don’t have the job.
5. Do not take the opportunity to go through the interviewer’s desk if you are left alone during the interview. Chances are the interviewer will be back before you know it and accuse you of stealing the change kept hidden in the bottom drawer.
4. Do not tweet during the interview. While you may think tweeting is evidence that you are “hip” to social media, the interviewer may tweet later that you are a social idiot.
3. Do not complain about your ex-spouse or ex-lover or ex-anything during the interview. Such disclosures will only make the interviewer wonder what you will be like as an ex-employee.
2. Do not come to the interview and say “I’ve applied for so many jobs. Which one is this?” Chances are the interviewer will counter with “I’ve had so many job applicants. Who the hell are you?”
1. Do not hug the interviewer at any time before, during or after the interview. At best, the interviewer will simply turn red-faced and throw your resume into the “Do Not Call Back” pile. At worst, the interviewer will sue you for sexual harassment.