There is a new collaboration in the works that includes Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com We thought it would be fun to put our heads together one day a week and come up the Top Ten List of What Not to Do in a number of situations. This idea was born in a discussion about Top Ten Lists and so we thought we would have a go at it. The lists will be simu-published (new word) on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
The Top Ten List of What Not to Do When Meeting Potential In-Laws for the First Time
10. When asked where you live; do not say “together,” even if it is true since there is a good chance you can mumble the city name and get away with it.
9. When asked about your ambitions in terms of employment; do not say “I’m happy with my government job” since there is a good chance they will consider you a lardbrick and unworthy of membership into the family.
8. If asked to dinner and you are asked your favorite food ahead of time; do not say “Lobster,” even if it is since there is a good chance the parents will kill themselves to get you a meal you will like and hate you forever.
7. If the potential mother-in-law asks you where you bought something; don’t say “Neiman Marcus,” even if it is true since there is a good chance she has never shopped there and will think you are a spoiled brat. (Which you probably are).
6. If the potential father-in-law asks you what you are driving and you know he has a truck; do not say “BMW,” even if it is in the driveway since there is a chance he will think you borrowed it.
5. When asked what your favorite sport is; do not say “soccer” since they will likely be perplexed at the idea of grown person hitting balls with their heads.
4. If you are offered a drink; do not ask for a shot of Tequila with a beer chaser since there is a good chance the man of the house will drink you under the table and you will get sick and be forever embarrassed by your actions.
3. If there are brothers or sisters of your intended present; do not ask about school, church, hobbies or favorite songs to curry favor since there is a good chance they have some emotional problem and hate you anyway.
2. When asked about your own parents; do not say that your parents have married and divorced each other several times and you no longer remember who your real father or mother is since there is a good chance they may worry about your own stability.
1. When it is time to say goodnight; do not pat your intended on the butt on the way out since there is a good chance the parents will instantly become jealous and hate you forever.